Cleansing In Forgiveness

"And When You Stand Praying, If You Hold Anything Against Anyone, Forgive Him, So That Your Father In Heaven May Forgive You Your Sins."

Mark 11:25

I received a beautiful email this morning from someone who has found comfort in my blog...

Someone who has been going through the same battles I have this past year...

Someone who is still hurting, still angry and still seeking footing in the new life that has been offered.

Someone who asked me "How do I do this?"

Not how does one forgive, How do I forgive?

Without going into detail, I sought advice from another...

I have addressed this topic before, wasn't sure I wanted to revisit it, then realized I needed to.

I thought about responding just by email, and on the advice of my friend was told others could benefit from this as well....

So I responded to the person who sent the email and sat down to write what I thought would be another post on forgiveness.

I went back over my archives, to the post I did on forgiveness, thinking it was a full post on its own, however it was just two sentences within another post.

With all the talking I do, I would have thought I had covered this topic in much more depth.

So let us get to it...

Forgiveness, it isn't for the other person, it is for you.

I have never heard this phrase prior to about 16 months ago and to be honest, I always thought forgiveness was for the other person, the one who had wronged you.

They say "sorry" you say, "you are forgiven", end of story...

Forgive and forget, I have always heard this one and I have a hard time following this...

See in my mind, I couldn't forgive my husband nor the other woman until they both came groveling, on their knees, seeking it, and until that day happened, I would carry the resentment I felt towards the both of them.

Yes, I was full of myself with what I saw as the ultimate sin committed against me, in the beginning, I chose to carry the victim mentality.

However, as I continued on my journey towards what He was calling me to do, those feelings just fell away.

I could be justified within my own mind, as well as the minds of those around me to carry bitterness and resentment, however what is that getting me?

How is that going to help me to move forward?

How would I be able to Minister to others when I can't walk the walk I speak?

Is it fair of me to tell you to forgive, when inside I was carrying hatred?

Is it fair of me to tell you to let go, when inside I was still carrying a torch?

The answer is no...

That isn't what He wants me to do, that isn't what He wants me to feel and it certainly isn't how He wants me to act.

To forgive is a daily process, sometimes it is a multiple times a day process, sometimes a hundred times a day process.

If you think that just by saying, "I forgive them", you will be able to move about your life carefree, than you have another thing coming.

Yes, forgiveness goes against our very nature as human beings...

We want revenge, we want the other person who hurt us to be hurt just as bad, if not more.

So what do you do then?

You forgive in faith, because that is what you are commanded to do.

He says to obey Him, He also says to forgive, just as He forgives you.

If you don't forgive and choose to hold a grudge, you are only placing yourself in torment prison...

You will be the one to suffer the most if you choose not to forgive.

You will be trapped in anger, bitterness, resentment and hurt...

The only One who can free you from that is Him...

By obeying Him and His word, you are released from those chains.

He sees you trying to forgive, He sees you obeying His word and you will be rewarded for that...

How?

You will also be forgiven.

Don't sit there and act like you have done nothing wrong to get to this place in your life...

We are all full of faults, we all fall short and we can all use some serious forgiveness.

Yes it is perfectly normal to feel anger and pain at the injustices of what life has thrown at you, what sets you apart is how you deal with that.

Do you lash out?

Try to make the other person suffer as you have suffered?

Do you gossip about the person, call them ugly names, wail and whine about how much your life just sucks now because of what this person has done to you?

Suck it up, they weren't responsible for your happiness, never have been, never will be...

You control that and because you handed it over to someone else, you now find yourself in a very ugly predicament...

Or do you take it to Him, lay it at His feet and walk away?

By doing it this way, you are free of the emotional turmoil your life has become.

You gave all those ugly emotions to Him...

You turned over the one causing you pain to Him...

You then get on your knees each and every day and you make a conscious effort to forgive.

You forgive them for the pain they caused, you forgive the other person in your spouses' life, you go back to when your situation began and go from day one...

It isn't an easy task and I admit sometimes I just don't have it in me to do it multiple times a day, however I don't let a day go by when I don't ask for Him to help me to forgive them.

Forgiveness is an act of self-preservation...

According to the dictionary, self-preservation is an instinctive behaviour that protects oneself from harm...

The harm in not forgiving is the damage you are doing to yourself.

You are the only one suffering...

In order to get out of the endless cycle, off the crazy roller-coaster, say the words...

"I forgive *insert name here*".

Now say it over and over and over again until you truly believe it.

Ask Him to show you how to extend the forgiveness...

This isn't something you have to tell the other person, remember this is for you.

In your seeking to forgive, you also need to seek forgiveness for the wrong-doings of yourself.

This I have found is much harder than forgiving another person...

Nobody likes to admit they are wrong, however again, none of us is perfect and we have all played a part somehow, someway...

Seek the forgiveness for yourself...

Seek the forgiveness for the other person...

What you will find is something you didn't know you were looking for,

Sweet, cleansing freedom.

MERCYME
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