12/21/09

He Spoke


I have had a crappy weekend...
Not to go into detail let's just say Eeyore has been giving me the worst time
since his Dad bailed.
He pushes the envelop each and every single day...
Sometimes I wonder if he gets his jollies to see how far he can break me.
He doesn't listen to me, he curses at me and basically I am the bad guy
because of what his Dad has done.
I should have fought harder to get him to come home,
I should tell him what he should be doing as far as his family is concerned,
I should divorce him etc...
Day in and day out I hear from my sweet little boy turned angry teenager
about what a piece of crap I am and how I can do no right.
It is heartbreaking to me to see his anger and know there isn't a damn thing I can do about it.



Tigger on the other hand is just sad...
He asked me 2 nights ago if his Dad had died and I was just keeping it from him.
How do you even answer something like that.
Do you know why he asked me that?
Because his Father hasn't talked to him in almost a month.
Because his Father hasn't seen him since July.
Please someone explain to me how you can do this to your child?
Please someone explain to my why my Husband sent me an email this morning
saying he wanted to see Eeyore after Christmas but not Tigger?
So today I have been so very sad and torn on what to do.
I had to apply for friggen food stamps because my Husband wants no responsibility...
I have never in my life been more mortified then I am right now.



My morning has been filled with heartache...
Tears have been brimming and I feel like I am fixing
to be swallowed up into a sea of nothingness.
I go and read about my bloggy friends and see Alicia needs prayers
and support for her SIL...
I see people hating Christmas (no names mentioned)...
I see sadness and heartbreak all around...
I see no joy in what should be one of the joyous times of the year.
I open my email and see the sweetest email from Gracie.
She has always sent me wonderful Bible verses just when I need them most...
She always has a kind word for me...
She has had her fair share of trials and tribulations this year and still
manages to make me feel worthy...
God spoke to her this weekend -
She shared what He said with me and with that email, the tears that
have been threatening to fall finally fell.
Gracie my friend - You will never know how much you touched my heart.
You will never know how much your words and kind gesture ment to
me in a time when I needed it the most.

He spoke to you.
I was the one who needed to listen.

Third Day
In Our Lives There Is Bound To Come Some Pain
Surely As There Are Storms And Falling Rain
Just Believe That The One Who Holds The Storms
Will Bring The Sun

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