Believe...

I read a quote yesterday that I want to share with you all...

"God will send the right people to our life at the right time.

We must first let the wrong people walk away. The wrong

people will use our weaknesses to stay in our lives. If we

don't let the wrong people walk away, we will miss God's best."

If you stop and really think about this like I did, it makes perfect sense...

I thought yesterday of all the people I have known over time and how many are still actually in my life...

People come and go for different reasons...

This I have always believed...

Some may be there for a wrinkle in time and others for a lifetime...

I think it depends on what they are there for...

I have new people in my life and they are here for a reason...

Whether it is for support or just a shoulder or a helping hand or just to give me a laugh, everyone has a purpose...

I have been thinking of the changes that have happened over the last few months and I see His hand in everything...

Lost the house, He made sure I still had a roof over my head...

Lost the car, He made sure I still had someway to get to work without making others do without...

Husband walked away, He made sure the support system was in place before it ever happened...

I quit my job, He made sure I found another one right away, He also made sure the old job was open when I was ready to come back again...

I was so broken there were days I found myself on the floor weeping, but He made sure I got up and dusted myself off and carried on no matter how many times I wanted to give up...

He counted and then wiped the tears away...

He took my suicidal thoughts and replaced them with strength...

He took my feelings of despair and replaced them with feelings of hope...

He took the indescribable pain that I thought would never end and replaced it with peace...

He replaced my fear with comfort...

He has done everything possible to show me He is standing right here beside me...

He has carried me when I couldn't take another step...

How is it that I am just now realizing this?

MICHAEL W. SMITH
I Believe In You Now
A New Light Is Showing Me How
I Used To Walk In The Shadows Of Doubt
But I Believe In You Now

Today

I got up this morning, went through my routine, looked outside and noticed something was amiss...

Couldn't put my finger on it to begin with...

Grass was being watered, sidewalk was wet, birds were singing yet something was missing...

I figured it out - My truck was taken in the middle of the night...

My truck has been officially repossessed...

My brother told me well look at it this way - Not much else can go wrong...

Can't look at it that way because we all know much more can go wrong...

No need to ask why - I will just keep pushing forward...


Came into work and had this lovely award waiting for me from my BF Ace...

Now this is a better way to start the day so thank you Ace and hugs to you my friend!

I hope you all have a wonderful day! Now onto the award...

For this award, please accept it, then acknowledge the
blog and blogger that has given you the award in a
post along with his/her name and link (Ace @ If You Think Round Is Funny)
Then pass the award onto 10-15 other blogs that you love to stalk.
So lots of love and fun will be had by all.
Remember to write everyone to let them know
that you have given them an award.

(Ace said 15 blogs however I changed that to 10-15 since I follow the same blogs and there aren't that many for me to award)

This is my list - If you are a repeat well that just means I love you bunches :)
Ace I would put you on here but since you gave it to me not sure I can do that lol...

Nikki

Alicia

Jenn

Diane

Louis

Gracie

Bethany

Jellybean

Juls

Joy

Comments

I am a dork at times and never understand why I answer you guys in my own comment section - It isn't like you all go back to read them or do you?

Anyway...

I was asked a very important question from a couple of you...

The question was How do I feel? (About the article)...

The answer is...

It didn't make me falter in anyway. I took my stand with the feeling in my heart that my marriage would make it through this stronger and better. The gamble is huge I would think to the outside, but to me it is worth it. Isn't that what love is supposed to be? "In good times and in bad times". The faith I have in God, myself and in him is what makes me feel this way...Do I wish he would have stayed (like the guy in the article)? Honestly - No...I wouldn't have been able to get where I am right now if he had stayed...He is on his journey and I am on my journey...I pray we meet in the middle, however if not, I know that is Gods will and I will be just fine either way.

Me...

You know I adore all of you so much! I was just reading the comments from my last post and you guys are just completely encouraging and loving and kind and sweet...

I wish we all lived closer to one another...

I would have had a lot of love at my baptism and then we could go have a girls night! (no offense to my male readers - you are of course welcome to come as well)...

I did get some good advice and I will say that one of the best pieces was not to do it for my husband...

Excellent my friends...

This isn't about him anymore...

This is about me and my kiddos...

I used to wear clothes that were just huge on me...

Basically I was hiding myself under heaps of fabric - I am not sure why but I would buy clothes that were at least 3 sizes to big...

Pathetic...

Everything was to big including my bras and underwear...

I will say - the thong - not sure about that...

Very odd to have something in your butt all day however I am trying to be comfortable in my own skin...

That includes looking at people in the eye, standing at my full height instead of slumped over like the Hunchback (I have always hated being tall), walking with my head held high, no more cursing - I know RIGHT! and doing all this while pulling floss out of my butt isn't very ladylike...

I have been wearing more dresses/skirts/heels instead of shorts and flip-flops...

I have very little self esteem but I am trying to build it up...

Alicia you asked me how much more I want to lose...

I am not sure of that...

When I got married I was 130 but at my height it wasn't a good weight for me...

I want to start toning up now which I think will help...

It is just finding the time :)

Right now I go day by day and with working full time, the boys, Church, trying to find a place to live, school starting soon etc...

I am beat by the end of the day - But a good beat...

I sleep better now then I have in a long time...

It is my turn to shine :)

MICHAEL W. SMITH
There's A Price For Getting Smarter,So I Pay What I Owe
While Bridges Burn, Let The Shadow Fall Behind Me
I Am Wiser, I Know, We Live & Learn

WTF???

First thanks to everyone of you who emailed me congrats!

I am so proud of myself for how far I have come since this started...

There are still some awful days and some days which aren't so great but I am still alive and there are no cuts on me :)

Ok update...Hubby called yesterday - 3 times...

1st to speak to Tigger (Eeyore isn't talking yet) and then again when I was working and then once again he called to let me know he was downstairs at my work...

Uh-Oh...

I get that panicky feeling in the pit of my stomach - The one I have been trying to keep away - I checked my hair and make-up and then went downstairs...

Man he is a sight for sore eyes and I realize how much I miss him and still love him (even though I want to kick him where it hurts) and I want to run and hug him and beg him to come home...

But I play it cool...

Sup...

Ok I am not that cool LOL...

We chatted for a few about work, the boys, I told him I was baptized, he was proud, he isn't ready to come home, he misses me, he loves me, I call him out on his "happiness", told him he could continue to lie to himself but couldn't lie to me anymore - He didn't deny it (finally)...

He had to go back to work...

He told me he loved me, we hugged and somehow found ourselves kissing - "really" kissing (you know with tongue) for the first time in so long, he held my face as I held his...

He told me he loved me about 4 more times then left...

Not a word since :(

That is my WTF...

So I have been working on my outer image since I lost the weight - Still have more I want to lose though...

Still trying to find a house as well...

Anyway, about my image...

I have been trying new things like wearing 4 inch heels to a 4 hour church service - OMG my feet were killing me when I got home, makeup everyday and doing my hair instead of throwing it up...

I also have been buying a new clothing item here and there...

So I bought something totally out of character for me...

Thongs - This could be a WTF...

No need for pics cause you know what I am talking about...

I also bought the bra you see above - So pretty...

So I am looking for ideas to make myself the best self possible...

Anyone have some thoughts for me?

That is all I have today...

Have a wonderful night to you all...

(((Hugs)))

Yes that says Miley Cyrus - I like this song but didn't know who sang it - Don't tell anyone LOL!

MILEY CYRUS
There's Always Going To Be Another Mountain
I'm Always Going To Want To Make It Move
Always Going To Be An Uphill Battle
Sometimes I'm Gonna Have To Lose
Ain't About How Fast I Get There
Ain't About What's Waiting On The Other Side
It's The Climb

New Life

Hello all and thank you for the emails of encouragement you sent to me...

I was indeed baptized yesterday and I couldn't even begin to put into words the feeling I had...

I had my SIL and her Mom with me but my blood family couldn't be bothered and I am ok with that...

I had a friend stand with me as well as them...

As my Pastor read to me and asked me questions I had so many things going through my head...

I had tears of course and he knew why since he is the one I go to and he knows what is going on...

I was sad my husband wasn't there to share that with me...

I was sad he walked away from his family...

I was sad of all the changes I have had in the last few months...

But I also cried tears of joy...

Happy I found a church I love...

Happy I found a Pastor I adore...

Happy for the strength I dig out of myself on a day to day basis...

Happy I am no longer broken...

Happy that I finally believe God has never forsaken me...

I may have done that to Him but He never did it to me...

I may have let go however He never did and for the first time in my life, I believe that.

JARS OF CLAY
What I Get From My Reflection Isn't What I Thought I'd See
Give Me Reason To Believe You'd Never Keep Me Incomplete
Will You Untie This Loss Of Mine, It Easily Defines Me
Do You See It On My Face
That All I Can Think About Is How Long I've Been Waiting
To Feel You Move Me