"But Without Faith It Is Impossible To Please Him: For He That Cometh To God Must Believe That He Is, And That He Is A Rewarder Of Them That Diligently Seek Him."
Hebrews 11:6
I know it has been a few days since I posted and I am sorry about that, just coming to terms with what life is offering now, along with work and everything else there is to do in a normal 24 hours.
In the past 2 weeks, some things within me have shifted, into a more peaceful realm and when I say peaceful, I mean I am so at peace, that I went to my Pastor recently to make sure I was "okay" in the head, so to speak.
People have asked before and again recently "How are you so calm with everything going on around you?"
Before I chalked it up to shock and the fog I protected myself with, now I know it is only Him...
Each step I take is another chance for my faith to grow and while it has taken me quite some time to get to this place, the journey has been worth it.
In the past few weeks, I have been watching a Pastor (not mine) on television, taking notes, rewatching certain episodes etc...
Trying to learn all I can, from whomever I can, before I do what He has called me to do.
In watching this Pastor, he said something recently that stayed with me... "Faith can't bypass the question mark."
Do you ever have one of those moments during the day when someone may say something or you may read something and BAM all of a sudden, pieces just start falling into place?
This was my moment, that one simple statement, spoken so nonchalantly in a sermon on (I think) fear...
I am pretty sure, lights started going off above my head, I think I almost heard a "ding ding ding" in the far away distance.
In that very moment, so many things started to make sense...
With that one little sentence, I could see exactly where I still had question marks, (sadly still too many question marks) I could also see where I once had question marks, I now had a solid, unshakable foundation, laid by His hands.
In order to get to this place, God had to strip my life of fear, emptiness, loneliness, unworthiness, undesirability, shame, and a whole slew of emotions.
Question marks I carried around inside of me during my life.
Question marks that only I could eliminate.
He could replace those emotions with His love, His strength, His mercy, His grace...
Only after I decided to let Him, only after I could honestly say, "Father, Please...I can't do it on my own."
In my complete brokenness ~
He wants me, completely...
He deems me completely worthy...
He set about healing me, completely...
He holds me close to Him, so completely close, I am learning to become one with Him...
He loves me completely...
Each area of my life, at one time or another, had a question mark, in order for Him to come in, I had to set about removing the mark...
So, you may be asking yourself, how do I do this?...
Trust in Him.
You eliminate the question mark and allow Him to put the punctuation where He deems necessary.
I have said it before and I will say it again ~
Where there is Faith, there is no Fear ~ Where there is Fear, there is no Faith.
I know first hand how hard it is to trust, when everything seems to be falling apart all around you, however you have to grab onto something and hold it for dear life...
Why not Him?
I will admit there have been times in the past two years where I didn't handle myself nor my situation, to my liking...
And some days there are still more questions than answers...
And there are still more tears than smiles...
And maybe, I took to one extreme, whereas others took a different route...
And maybe, when all is said and done, I am wrong...
However I would rather be wrong after I am dead, then wrong while I am alive and only find out I was wrong, after I die ~ Does that makes sense?
Maybe G is right, maybe I do think to much.
Regardless of if I do or if I don't, we all have question marks within our lives.
And in order to live in the complete fullness of Him, you have to learn how to remove them.
I will be the first to admit, it isn't easy and until you change your mindset, you will still fall back on the questions.
The whys?
The how could this happens?
The aren't I good enoughs?
The don't you love mes?
I know that none of those were proper English, however I am hoping you get the point I am trying to make. :)
In order to eliminate the question mark/s, you need to set your mind on Him.
Once a question arises (and yes, they will arise, sometimes numerous times during the day), be vigilant that the questions are there and find something to tell yourself that will push the questions aside...
I use a few different sentences and sometimes all I need to do is picture the Cross, knowing that what He went through is nothing compared to what I am going through.
Sometimes all I have is "He loves me" or "He overcame" and yes I will tell myself this over and over, until the question is gone.
I believe, that until you eliminate the question marks, you can't experience the full power of His love, mercy, strength and grace.
Yes you can feel bits and pieces here and there, however wouldn't you rather have all He has to offer you?
Very well aid, my friend!
ReplyDeleteHi. So first I must say I enjoy your blog, and think you are doing a great act of God through it. I know you are touching peoples' lives, so do not quit. I myself am a college student, studying Youth Ministry. To help pay for college I also create videos for different companies to use as advertisements. An image you used in your blog, one of the question marks, I would love to use in a video of mine. But I want your permission before I do so. Email me back if you can, at econlinejob@gmail.com.
ReplyDeleteKeep up the great work here, and God Bless,
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