"And He Said To Me, My Grace Is Sufficient For You, For My Strength Is Made Perfect In Weakness. Therefore Most Gladly I Will Rather Boast In My Infirmities, That The Power Of Christ May Rest Upon Me."
2 Corinthians 12:9
I told my sister this morning I feel like I am trapped in a funhouse from which there is no escape.
Trapped in a room of mirrors, never quite sure what my reflection is going to reveal.
I can say all the right things, I can do all the right things, however what matters is how I feel inside...
Inside I feel dead.
Trapped, agitated, not quite sure what the day may hold, guarded to the people that come around and rattle my cage.
I liken it to an animal that has been beaten over and over again until they are afraid of anyone who comes around them...
They shake and cower in a corner, terrified of being struck again.
It could take you years to get that animal to trust you and it may never happen.
I see Him, reaching out His hand, I want to grab onto it and never let go of it...
For whatever reason, something is holding me back from grasping it completely.
I know what He wants me to do, I know how He wants me to feel...
He knows I am struggling badly lately, I wish He could tell me why.
I find myself locked in my own private world lately...
I function, I speak, I do what I need to to, yet I still feel trapped.
A tug of war going on within me...
A spiritual battle, torn between what I want to do and what I need to do...
I need His strength to come through this battle, yet I can't quite bring myself to ask for it.
I'm Trying So Hard
To Stop Trying So Hard
Just Let You Be Who You Are
Lord, Who You Are In Me