"And He Said To Me, My Grace Is Sufficient For You, For My Strength Is Made Perfect In Weakness. Therefore Most Gladly I Will Rather Boast In My Infirmities, That The Power Of Christ May Rest Upon Me."
2 Corinthians 12:9

I told my sister this morning I feel like I am trapped in a funhouse from which there is no escape.

Trapped in a room of mirrors, never quite sure what my reflection is going to reveal.

I can say all the right things, I can do all the right things, however what matters is how I feel inside...

Inside I feel dead.

Trapped, agitated, not quite sure what the day may hold, guarded to the people that come around and rattle my cage.

I liken it to an animal that has been beaten over and over again until they are afraid of anyone who comes around them...

They shake and cower in a corner, terrified of being struck again.

It could take you years to get that animal to trust you and it may never happen.

I see Him, reaching out His hand, I want to grab onto it and never let go of it...

For whatever reason, something is holding me back from grasping it completely.

I know what He wants me to do, I know how He wants me to feel...

He knows I am struggling badly lately, I wish He could tell me why.

I find myself locked in my own private world lately...

I function, I speak, I do what I need to to, yet I still feel trapped.

A tug of war going on within me...

A spiritual battle, torn between what I want to do and what I need to do...

I need His strength to come through this battle, yet I can't quite bring myself to ask for it.

I'm Trying So Hard
To Stop Trying So Hard
Just Let You Be Who You Are
Lord, Who You Are In Me

1 comment:

  1. I pray that you find that strength my dear sister, both to ask and to grasp hold of His hand. (((hugs)))


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