7/2/10

Trapped

"And He Said To Me, My Grace Is Sufficient For You, For My Strength Is Made Perfect In Weakness. Therefore Most Gladly I Will Rather Boast In My Infirmities, That The Power Of Christ May Rest Upon Me."
2 Corinthians 12:9

I told my sister this morning I feel like I am trapped in a funhouse from which there is no escape.

Trapped in a room of mirrors, never quite sure what my reflection is going to reveal.

I can say all the right things, I can do all the right things, however what matters is how I feel inside...

Inside I feel dead.

Trapped, agitated, not quite sure what the day may hold, guarded to the people that come around and rattle my cage.

I liken it to an animal that has been beaten over and over again until they are afraid of anyone who comes around them...

They shake and cower in a corner, terrified of being struck again.

It could take you years to get that animal to trust you and it may never happen.

I see Him, reaching out His hand, I want to grab onto it and never let go of it...

For whatever reason, something is holding me back from grasping it completely.

I know what He wants me to do, I know how He wants me to feel...

He knows I am struggling badly lately, I wish He could tell me why.

I find myself locked in my own private world lately...

I function, I speak, I do what I need to to, yet I still feel trapped.

A tug of war going on within me...

A spiritual battle, torn between what I want to do and what I need to do...

I need His strength to come through this battle, yet I can't quite bring myself to ask for it.

CASTING CROWNS
I'm Trying So Hard
To Stop Trying So Hard
Just Let You Be Who You Are
Lord, Who You Are In Me

1 comment:

  1. I pray that you find that strength my dear sister, both to ask and to grasp hold of His hand. (((hugs)))

    ReplyDelete

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