Hebrews 11:1

"Now Faith Is Being Sure Of What We Hope For And Certain Of What We Do Not See."

I get asked a lot "How can you be so strong"? I want to reply I am not any stronger then the next person...

I have really bad days and I have really good days and some days that are just in-between...

The difference you may see is I have Faith regardless of the circumstances surrounding me...


The definition of Faith is as follows -

Belief and trust in and loyalty to God; Firm belief in something for which there is no proof; Complete trust...


I have complete and absolute Faith in Him that my marriage will be restored...

I have no proof of this and quite frankly if I went by the way my husband talks, we are going to be divorced any day now however I know His promises for me...

I know that if you ask and believe, it shall be yours...

I used to pray for Him to please send my husband home before any additional damage was done...

Now I just pray for His will in my marriage and in my life.




Some of you may be reading this and thinking - "This chick is a whack-job" or maybe thinking I am "Setting myself up for failure"...

No worries if you are because I hear it at least once a day in my "real life" and I won't hold it against you...

As I stated to someone close to me yesterday when this conversation came up once again for the 37th billion time...

I was told that I needed to move on and divorce him, to which I replied -

That is your opinion, the fact is it isn't going to happen...

Your delusional I was told, no I stated, I believe.

I believe in the promise of the Word...

I believe in Him and all He represents...

I have complete and utter trust that whatever is going on where I can't see, it is for the bettering of me and my life.

You can't pick and choose what you believe in, what you have Faith in...

If you have Faith in Him, you don't need anything else.



CHASEN
I Tried My Way
It Always Ends Up Being A Mistake
But You're Right When You Say
That You Set The Time For The Plans You Make
I Never Thought That I Could Ever Learn To Let It Go
Somehow It's Better When I Follow In The Paths You Show
So I'm Here I'm Waiting Cause I Believe

Psalm 91:11

"For He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways."

I have learned angels come in many forms...

I used to think they only lived in Heaven and were equipped with wings and halos...

Now I know this isn't true...

My post yesterday drew people out of the woodwork...

Here, via email as well as on FB...

Angels sent to encircle me...


People who I know in real life as well as people I have met online...

People walking the same walk as me as well as people in happy marriages wishing me luck on my path...

People I have never spoken to before logged in to send me an encouraging email/comment...

Not a single anonymous email was had...

Not a single ugly word was uttered...

I have had prayers sent out and above for my family and I...


What started as a journey into uncharted territory became a journey into my own self discovery...

What started as a walk into infidelity, lies, secrets, heartbreak and pain has turned into a journey of forgiveness, inner peace, self awareness and unconditional love.

God knows His plans for me and right now I am not privy to that information however He is teaching me valuable lessons.

I falter and I stumble along the way and no matter what He picks me right back up again...

I realize that this is a learning process for each of us...

No matter what is going on our lives, we all could take the time to look for the lesson in each circumstance that presents itself to us...

I sometimes wonder where I would be if I would have run out and filed for divorce right off the bat...

Where would I be right now at this point in my life?

Better off?

Maybe however I would have missed some very valuable lessons...

My Faith wouldn't be where it is right now because at my very lowest point, He was the last one I sought to help me and the only one who accepted the challenge...

Once I sought His help, then and only then did things start to fall into place...

Was my marriage restored at that point?

Of course not otherwise we wouldn't be having this conversation...

However He did help me...

He placed His angels in my path to light my way.

If you are reading this, then count yourself one of them.

FEE
When I See
The Darkness All Around Me
When I See
The Tragedy Has Found Me
I Still Believe

My Choice

Due to me linking my blog elsewhere, I had been receiving some anonymous emails that I will address here...




Yes it is a fact that my husband of 20 years has and still is cheating on me...

Yes he moved out while I was at work one day leaving behind no explanation...

Yes we have 2 sons that have also fallen victim to his craziness...

Yes I choose to stand in the gap of my marriage and place it all in His hands.



I understand that my choice isn't one most people would take however I have met plenty of people who have actually taken the same stand I have.

People who are wearing the same shoes as I...

This journey isn't for everyone and yes it would be easier if I ran down to the courthouse and just filed for divorce...

Do I consider it? Absolutely and had you read my blog you would have known that - I don't know anyone in my position who hasn't considered it...

However at the end of the day I am the only person who has to live with the choices I make...

Not you...

I understand you "wouldn't ever put up with anything like this"...

I understand you "would kick your spouse to the curb"...

I understand you "would take them for all they are worth"...

What I don't understand is why you are trying to tell me how to live my life?




This is my journey and until you are wearing my shoes, who are you to actually tell me I am doing it wrong?

Choosing to not divorce my husband just because he cheated on me doesn't make me weak - It makes me stronger then most because I am willing to fight for what I believe in and not give in to what I don't believe in...

The ride isn't a fun one and there are plenty of times during the course of a day that I want off...

I want to be able to wave my magic wand and fix everything...

Make everything go back the way I thought it was however I can't...

The only thing I can do is to continue to move forward...

I took everything to the Altar and left it there and you trying to make me second guess myself still isn't going to make me pick it back up again...

I have the utmost Faith in God that He will take care of all of this - His way.

It took me months to learn how to leave it at the Altar and not pick it back up again and then several more months before I learned how to pray for His will and not mine.

It isn't easy and the decision I made wasn't taken lightly because I to was a person who always used to say that cheating was a deal breaker.

However it is my decision to make...

My journey to walk...

My storm to ride out and if you don't agree with me that is your decision...

Just don't try to use your anonymity to get me to change to your point of view.

MIKESCHAIR

I Will Swim In The Deep
Cuz You'll Be Next To Me
You're In The Eye Of The Storm

And The Calm Of The Sea

Your Never Out Of Reach