Yes it is a fact that my husband of 20 years has and still is cheating on me...
Yes he moved out while I was at work one day leaving behind no explanation...
Yes we have 2 sons that have also fallen victim to his craziness...
Yes I choose to stand in the gap of my marriage and place it all in His hands.
I understand that my choice isn't one most people would take however I have met plenty of people who have actually taken the same stand I have.
People who are wearing the same shoes as I...
This journey isn't for everyone and yes it would be easier if I ran down to the courthouse and just filed for divorce...
Do I consider it? Absolutely and had you read my blog you would have known that - I don't know anyone in my position who hasn't considered it...
However at the end of the day I am the only person who has to live with the choices I make...
Not you...
I understand you "wouldn't ever put up with anything like this"...
I understand you "would kick your spouse to the curb"...
I understand you "would take them for all they are worth"...
What I don't understand is why you are trying to tell me how to live my life?
This is my journey and until you are wearing my shoes, who are you to actually tell me I am doing it wrong?
Choosing to not divorce my husband just because he cheated on me doesn't make me weak - It makes me stronger then most because I am willing to fight for what I believe in and not give in to what I don't believe in...
The ride isn't a fun one and there are plenty of times during the course of a day that I want off...
I want to be able to wave my magic wand and fix everything...
Make everything go back the way I thought it was however I can't...
The only thing I can do is to continue to move forward...
I took everything to the Altar and left it there and you trying to make me second guess myself still isn't going to make me pick it back up again...
I have the utmost Faith in God that He will take care of all of this - His way.
It took me months to learn how to leave it at the Altar and not pick it back up again and then several more months before I learned how to pray for His will and not mine.
It isn't easy and the decision I made wasn't taken lightly because I to was a person who always used to say that cheating was a deal breaker.
However it is my decision to make...
My journey to walk...
My storm to ride out and if you don't agree with me that is your decision...
Just don't try to use your anonymity to get me to change to your point of view.
MIKESCHAIR
I Will Swim In The Deep
Cuz You'll Be Next To Me
You're In The Eye Of The Storm
Cuz You'll Be Next To Me
You're In The Eye Of The Storm
And The Calm Of The Sea
Your Never Out Of Reach
I completely agree. Some people dont realize this until "they" are put in the same position. I am praying for you and your family!
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Seriously? People are anonymously doing that? You're right it is YOUR choice. I admit I didn't understand at first, but you gave me excellent examples many months ago and I totally get it now. Hang in there, friend.
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I can definately relate to people judging every move you make...and like you said, until they each walk a mile in your shoes they have no room to judge whatsoever. I, too, had always said that infidelity would be a deal breaker for me and the first thing I said to my husband when I found out he was seeing someone was--let's work this out, we can get past this. I was told to tell his girlfriend's husband, I was told to tell all of his friends exactly what he had done to me, and I was told to take him for everything...but I knew that I would have to live with my actions for the rest of my life and I so I chose to be the bigger person no matter what he was doing to me. Stay strong...and feel confident in making your own decisions!!!
ReplyDeleteI, too, am standing for the healing of my marriage after my husband was unfaithful after 16 years of marriage. However, he filed for divorce after 3 months of seperation. Still standing, I denied him the divorce. He has not proceeded further, nor returned home, but I am making the decision to fight for my marriage and our three kids. I will NEVER let them see me give up!! You are right, we are the strong ones! Keep up the fight! It is worth it!!
ReplyDeleteThe people in your life that love you, though they may not always agree with your choices, will not demand nor require an explanation of them. Your decisions are just that, YOURS! I love you, Friend. I am here for whatever you need, always =)
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