Holy Hatred

"To Everything There Is A Season, A Time For Every Purpose Under Heaven."
Ecclesiastes 3:1

I read this Biblical verse this morning.

I went on to finish the entire passage, which in turn got me truly thinking.

Each sentence was just beautiful to me, perfectly written to get one thinking about the bigger things in life.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 covers everything we deal with in life from being born to dying and everything in between.

As I went on to read the passage one sentence caught my eye...

"A Time To Love, A Time To Hate"

And I paused and wondered if this was permission from Him to "hate".

I sat and pondered if I was now allowed to hate my husband as well as the other woman...

Did my Father just tell me it was ok to do so in this season?

The answer is of course no...

It is ok to hate what has happened, it is not ok to hate people.

The more I walk, the more I learn what He wants from us...

The more I walk, the more I learn what He wants from me...

To be a forgiving, compassionate, kind, loving woman for Him.

To not allow my circumstances to change me into a bitter shell of the person I used to be, but to allow it to change me into something magnificent.

To love what God loves and to hate what God hates.

What do you mean hate what God hates?

God doesn't hate anything we are taught, God is all about love.

If your love is not strong enough, you won't know what holy hatred is...

A "good" hatred so to speak.

A strong love produces a strong hatred, therefore is goes without saying a strong holy love produces a strong holy hatred.

In order to learn to love the truth, you have to learn to hate every false way.

You can't love the truth and love error at the same time...

There are always two sides to every story and here there is no exception.

I have always heard God is love, an all-knowing, all-consuming powerful force of nothing but goodness.

Yet I have been learning God hates as well.

The love/hate that God has is complimentary to one another not mutually exclusive.

People hate other people because they love themselves and self-love is extremely destructive.

The Bible states you can't serve two masters...

Either you serve Him or you serve yourself, period.

Holy hatred is a gift from Him such is holy love...

You see in order to turn your life over to Him completely, you need that holy hatred...

Don't believe me?

Watch how I weave it for you...

You will always be deceived until you have a holy hatred for ignorance.

You will always be bound until you have a holy hated for sin.

You will never be genuine until you have a holy hated for hypocrisy.

You have to have a holy hatred for evil in order to overcome it with good.

You will never be truthful until you have a holy hatred for lies.

You will never have complete compassion until you have a holy hatred for judgement.

You will never have complete kindness until you have a holy hatred for cruelty.

You will never surrender completely to God until you have a holy hatred of your own ways.

Now don't confuse "bad" hate with holy hate...

Bad hate is just that, bad.

Murder, war, slander, strife, racism etc...

These are examples of bad hate and are all a sin.

If our love for Him is strong enough, we will learn to hate everything that competes with Him.

Anything that tries to hinder our relationship with our Father, we will come to despise.

John 12:25 states "He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life."

This means you now have to have a holy hatred for "self"...

Self-love, self-righteousness, self-will, self-preservation all leading to self-destruction.

Jesus is saying to us, if you love your life, you will lose it altogether...

And my friends, this isn't a bad thing...

Everything is set to give you a better life than you ever dreamed possible, the question is, are you willing to have holy hate for yourself in order to make all your dreams come true?

You Are My Strong Tower
Fortress When I'm Weak
Your Name Is True And Holy
And Your Face Is All I Seek


To The Cross

"Cast Your Burden On The Lord, And He Shall Sustain You; He Shall Never Permit The Righteous To Be Moved."
Psalms 55:22

It took me a long time to "cast my burdens" upon Him.

It took me even longer to leave them at the foot of the Cross.

I am a worrier by nature, my Dad informed me tonight I carry guilt like a "20 pound sack" everywhere I go.

In order to let go of that, I had to reach deep inside of me, change my way of thinking and my way of dealing with circumstances.

This has been the hardest part of the journey, to relinquish control to someone I can't see with my own two eyes standing in front of me.

Trust has never been hard for me, until 18 months ago I trusted completely without question.

Now, I don't.

There are only a handful of people I trust now and I can honestly say I am unsure if I even trust them completely.

My Lord wants me to trust Him completely, with each aspect of my life and to be honest, I am having a hard time with it.

You can send me all the emails in the world about what an inspiration my words bring to your life, however you should know I struggle daily.

Faith may seem like it comes easy to me...

I am here to tell you it doesn't.

Where I used to trust at face value, I now question everything, including what He wants from me.

Worry is a symptom of not trusting, so by worrying I am basically saying I don't trust Him to fulfill His promises to me.

The Cross is a symbol of peace to me...

Nothing else in this world brings me more peace than the sight of a Cross.

Two thousand years ago Jesus was nailed to that Cross, beaten, rejected and left to die at the hands of man.

The thought should bring you to tears in an instant.

Why did He die?

For our sins.

He died to save us from the wrath of God, to make peace between God and us.

The Son of our Father drank the wrath each one of us deserves to feel...

By His stripes, we are healed.

Isaiah 53:5 - "But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, by His stripes we are healed"

Let that sink in for a minute.

Because He was crucified on the Cross so long ago, your "old" self died with Him the minute you accepted Him as your Lord and Savior.

Yes, your old, selfish, man made ways are dead now...


In order to live the life He wants, in order to live to glorify Him, you have got to let go of the past.

Yes, I said those words...

Because of what Jesus did and our Faith in His word, we have the same power within us that raised Him from the dead.

Yes we will still struggle, however because of Him we will be victorious over the way we used to live.

You can't do this alone...

I have mentioned I carry on a running conversation with Him throughout the day...

He knows when I feel my own weakness, knowing I just can't shoulder it so I admit it in prayer and ask for Him for His strength instead....

In my weakness, I am strongest.

In your weakness, you are strongest.

2 Corinthians 12:9 - "But He said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

The power of the Cross is yours, all you have to do is go to it.

Kneel at the foot of the Cross and just starting talking to Him...

I don't pray with fancy words, I pray as I talk to you, I pray from my heart...

Sometimes I am so moved I end up in tears, other times I walk away feeling worse than I did when I knelt down, however I still take each and every care, each and every burden to Him.

Not only do I take it to Him, I leave it with Him and if by chance I find myself taking it back, I stop and release it back to Him...

Control is never, ever easy to give up.

Before I started this post, I said a prayer for any reader I have that doesn't know our Father personally and intimately...

If you don't know Him all you have to do is say the following prayer and mean it with your heart...

"Lord Jesus, I am a sinner. But I believe that you died upon the Cross for me. That You shed Your precious blood for the forgiveness of my sin. And I believe on the third day that You rose from the dead, and went to Heaven, to prepare a place for me. I accept You now as my Savior, my Lord, my God, my friend. Come into my heart, Lord Jesus, and set me free from my sin. And because You are my Savior, Jesus, I shall not die but have everlasting life."


At The Cross I Bow My Knee
Where Your Blood Was Shed For Me
There's No Greater Love Than This
You Have Overcome The Grave
Your Glory Fills The Highest Place
What Can Seperate Me Now


Just Before Dawn

"How Long Must I Wrestle With My Thoughts And Every Day Have Sorrow In My Heart? How Long Will My Enemy Triumph Over Me?"
Psalm 13:2

I woke up early this morning, when I say early I mean sometime right before 5am.

I was wide awake, the house was still and quiet.

I took a shower without my 7 year old beating on the door wanting in and then took my coffee outside.

I could hear the world starting to wake up, birds chirping, traffic going by, wind rustling through the leaves on the ground.

As I sat on the bench, legs tucked up underneath me, I just imagined Him sitting beside me...

It was one of the most peaceful mornings I have had in a very long time.

I stayed outside for almost 2 hours before anyone else got up...

Just sitting, thinking, reflecting, pondering, wondering, questioning etc...

I don't have to speak out loud when I am with Him, He sees my heart, hears my thoughts, reads my mind.

No masks with Him, even if I tried, He would see past them...

I have been feeling a bit down lately, struggling to hide it to the people around me, not sad really, just blah.

Out of all the people in my life, only one has seen past the mask I put on over a week ago.

Not only did he see past it, he called me on it as well.

I have spoken about G quite a few times, a blessing in my life that I wouldn't give up for anything.

My brother, a kindred spirit and a true friend.

He allowed me a few days of tricking myself into thinking I was perfectly fine, than called my bluff yesterday.

Yes he is a world-class butt-kicker like that.

The point is I should have known better...

I told him over and over I was ok until I almost believed it...

Key word is almost, because once night hits, I am not ok.

The hours between dusk and dawn can be very long and very painful I have found out.

Those are the hours of self-doubt...

The times when sleep just will not come and thoughts take over.

Wicked thoughts, designed to tear you down and keep you down...

The "what if", "what could be", "what I should have done", "what I could have done different" etc...

Thoughts that have zero place in your healing, yet there they are...

Whispering to you about what a failure you truly are.

Snakes wrapping their way around your mind, asking you all kinds of demonic questions...

Questions designed to inflict self-doubt, designed to zap you of your energy, your strength, your joy, your peace...

All gifts from Him, being stolen in the early hours when normal people are sleeping.

Never before did I actually think to just go to Him during those hours as well.

As if He is sleeping and can't be bothered with my trials and tribulations.

However I don't want to bother Him...

I think to myself sometimes, there are more important people calling on Him at that time as well so I can't be selfish.

I forget He is everywhere, all the time and when I am speaking with Him, you could also be doing the same thing.

I do that when I pray as well, sometimes I forget something and remember it only after I have finished and once I call on Him again, I apologize for bothering Him...

Eventually I will get it through my head that He is there for me, anytime day or night.

So this morning, before the dawn broke, I was selfish...

I took my time with Him...

I sat in pure, utter peace wrapped in His love, in His arms and it was a perfect way to start my day.

That doesn't mean I will walk through my day and nothing can touch me...

It means I started my day the right way so I was equipped by Him to handle anything that comes along.

What You Got Inside Your Soul
Deep Down You Know
The Truth Won't Hide
Don't Believe The Lie


Come As You Are

"Watch And Pray So That You Will Not Fall Into Temptation. The Spirit Is Willing, But The Body Is Weak."
Matthew 26:41

Prayer brings us to Him...

Open hands, clasped hands, fingers enter twined, on your knees, standing up, kneeling all the way down etc...

It doesn't matter, what matters is that you do it.

Each and every day.

This is your source of direct & open communication with Him...

Honest prayer will bring you closer to Him, in the stillness of that moment, in the furthest reaches of your heart is where you will find Him.

Like a whisper on the wind.

When all hope seems lost, when you are sailing on the sea of utter despair, go to Him in prayer...

He will meet you there.

No matter where you are, He will come to you, if you cry out to Him.

Shattered, lost, hurt, scared, it doesn't matter to Him....

Come as you are...

Nothing is more beautiful to our Father than you coming to Him broken.

I sometimes lay awake at night, after my prayers just thinking...

I don't ask for too much when I pray, I ask for protectiveness over my family and friends...

I ask for help in forgiveness, I seek peace when I pray...

I stopped asking for my will a long time...

I have started just talking to Him within my mind recently, everyday...

Before it was here and there, now it is all day.

Sometimes my prayers get lengthy, sometimes I just seek His mercy...

Sometimes I just ask Him to lay with me because I am out of words, He sees my heart, He knows when I have had enough.

Sometimes I just sit and cry, knowing He is right there, crying along side of me...

He feels all of my pain, even the pain I haven't touched on yet.

He feels all of my sorrow, He knows when I am out of strength, He is the one who truly knows what is hurting me...

I can tell you I am well and all is ok, He knows different...

He knows every aspect of me and no matter how many times I say it, He never tires of hearing it...

He sees my confusion at what my life has become, He gives me clarity.

He sees how weak I feel day to day, He gives me His strength.

He sees the fight within myself to do the right thing, He gives me wisdom to know His will.

He can look inside me and see things I wouldn't even dare voice, yet He still loves me anyway.


Because I go to Him, just as I am.

Lord I'm Tired, So Tired From Walking
And Lord I'm So Alone
And Lord The Dark Is Creeping In
Creeping Up, To Swallow Me
I Think I'll Stop
Rest Here A While

By His Grace

"You Gave Me Life And Showed Me Kindness, And In Your Providence Watched Over My Spirit."
Job 10:12

"The will of God will never take you to where the grace of God will not protect you."

One of my favorite quotes, I don't know who originally said it however it speaks volumes.

So what is God's Grace?

The power to do for us, what we can not do for ourselves.

On the other side of that, we can not do anything for ourselves (John 15:5).

The grace of God has no beginning and no end, like Him, it is eternal...

When I think of the word "grace", I imagine back in the day when women walked tall, head held high, back straight as a board etc...

Grace to me was always a quality women possessed...

I was never one of them.

I can't even chew gum and walk at the same time.

He loves us, even though we don't deserve it...

Truth be told, we are not worthy of living under His protection...

We sin daily, we go about our day doing what we want instead of what He wants.

The majority of us don't take the time to even find out what His will for our lives is.

We want the promise of eternal life, we just don't want to do anything for it.

We want to live our lives the way we see fit with zero repercussions and upon death, we still want to go to Heaven and live happily ever after.

I am here to tell you that it isn't going to work that way.

Never has, never will.

He gave us free will, to do as we wish however, He still wants you to follow His will for your life.

So how do you know what His will is?

You ask Him.

When you seek His will, make sure what you are asking for doesn't go against the Bible and make sure whatever you are asking will Glorify Him as well as help you grow spiritually.

He isn't going to tell you specifically because He gave you free will.

In order to know what it is He is saying, you have to learn spiritual discernment.

Spiritual discernment is the interior search for determining whether God is calling one to certain things in their lives.

It doesn't necessarily apply to being called to the ministry or vowed life.

Basically you can sum it up by saying avoid evil, do good.

Plain and simple...

You aren't stupid, you know right from wrong, it has been taught to 99% of us from the time we were old enough to walk.

You can either live by the will of the Spirit, following Him, to lead a life of holiness, a life filled with His peace, His strength, His love, His grace.

Or you can live by the will of the flesh, following your own mortal wants, leading to a life of sin...

This in turn will open the door to Satan.

The will of the flesh is easily fooled, easily rationalized, easily led astray.

We have all done it so don't sit there and think to yourself that you haven't.

There you are, faced with something your mortal self really wants, yet knowing it isn't something He wants for you so what do you do?

You take the Word and twist it to fit the sin you are about to commit.

I have seen this done time and time again...

I have personally witnessed this in the past 18 months.

You take someone who believes in God, place infidelity in their lap and watch the wheels start turning...

"He wants me to be happy", "If this wasn't His will, we would have never met", "She is a gift from Him"

Yes, I have heard each of these and many more, justifications on His word for a grievous sin being committed...

Now I know that these are just excuses because free will was being followed and not His will.

By the Grace of our Father, I have survived the past 18 months...

18 months and I am just now starting to have the fog cleared, the veil lifted so to speak...

I have recently learned that if you are walking closely with Him, truly desiring His will for your life, not your will, He will than place His desires on your heart.

The key to all of this is quite simple...

His will, not yours.

God, My God I Cry Out
Your Beloved Needs You Now
God, Be Near, Calm My Fear And Take My Doubt
Your Kindness Is What Pulls Me Up
Your Love Is All That Draws Me In


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