5/22/11

Reflections

"Have Not I Commanded Thee? Be Strong And Of A Good Courage; Be Not Afraid, Neither Be Thou Dismayed: For The LORD Thy God Is With Thee Whithersoever Thou Goest."
Joshua 1:9


Wherever I go, He goes...

Wherever you go, He goes...

Try to wrap your mind around that one and you may end up with a headache.

I have had some changes going on within me lately.

I try to imagine myself, face to face with Him, wondering if I will be able to walk with Him for awhile, perhaps ask a few questions.

I wonder what happens if someone else in Heaven needs His attention a little bit more than I do...

Will He leave my side to go to theirs?

I try to imagine how it will feel to see His face and my mind just won't stretch that far.

Will I fall to my knees, head down, just thankful that I made it through that narrow path?

Will there be dancing and rainshowers and glorious sunrises and sunsets?


Will I still be able to call on Him, anytime?

Will He come or will He just be there, as He is now?

Will He love me there, as He loves me here?

Yes, I think too much, we have covered that before. :)

Nothing on this Earth can move me more than the fact that I know He stands over me, wherever I go, He covers me and protects me and guides me as much as I will allow.

I see Him move in my life, each and every single morning, throughout the day and well into the evening and for the past couple of weeks, something has shifted inside me...

This feeling, it moves me when I don't expect it, I can feel my eyes burning at different times during the day and I stop to do a mental check, nope, not "sad", what is going on???

Doesn't matter what I am doing.

I can be sitting here working or watching tv or reading or in Church, doesn't matter, it still happens...

I can only describe it as one of 2 things ~

Pure joy, a joy that comes from within your soul and overtakes your body, one that is so fulfilling it moves you to tears.

Pure sorrow, a sorrow so deep that it physically hurts you to breathe, one that comes from the very core of your being.


It started out small, while I was in Church, a song the choir was singing, for whatever reason, touched something within me and I could feel those tears dancing behind my eyes...

Now it is daily, sometimes good, sometimes not so much.

The joy comes from different things as does the sorrow.

When it is joy, I almost feel like I could float away on the sheer emotion.

To see someone come to Him, to see a Baptism, to wake up early and see the sunrise, to see the smile on either one of my childrens' faces, to see a message from an adored friend at just the right time, to walk into the Church, at night, when no one is there and the only light shining, is a small spotlight on the pulpit, the waves on the beach in the Winter, to know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I am spoken for...

There are no words for that kind of joy, it is something you have to experience from the depths of your soul.

It is like a bone crushing hug from the inside.

When it is sorrow, it is a crushing hurt and it doesn't come from being sad or from my circumstances.

I hurt when I know someone doesn't believe, when I see someone who is adamently against Him.

To hear someone say they don't believe He died on the Cross for us, breaks my heart and can easily turn me into a weeping mess.


I know everyone has their own beliefs, I accept that...

It doesn't mean it is easy for me.

I want everyone to feel the way He makes me feel...

To be able to appreciate the fact that He woke you up this morning, to know that your day is in His hands and He isn't going to steer you wrong.

To allow Him to fill you completely with joy at the littlest things along the way.

To look upon the Cross and feel the sorrow that should be felt when you see it, knowing He shouldn't have had to do what He did, and then feel the joy, knowing that because of that act, you can have an everlasting life with Him.

I honestly can't imagine someone throwing that away, and for what?

Nothing you are doing, is better than anything He is offering, I can promise you that.

Just some reflections I have been pondering lately.


TENTH AVENUE NORTH
And I'll Be By Your Side Wherever You Fall
In The Dead Of Night Whenever You Call
And Please Don't Fight These Hands That Are Holding You
My Hands Are Holding You

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