Sticks And Stones

"But No Man Can Tame The Tongue. It Is An Unruly Evil, Full Of Deadly Poison. With It We Bless Our God And Father, And With It We Curse Men, Who Have Been Made In The Similitude Of God. Out Of The Same Mouth Proceed Blessing And Cursing. My Brethen, These Things Ought Not To Be So."

James 3:8-10

Everyone has heard the childhood chant, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me."

This is a lie.

Words hurt.

How you put forth what you say, can make or break a day for someone.

The Bible states that the tongue can be one of the most deadliest weapons.

Not a knife, not a bomb, not a gun...

Your tongue...

"They Sharpen Their Tongue Like Swords And Aim Their Bitter Words Like Arrows" - Psalm 64:3

"Their Tongues Sting Like A Snake; The Venom Of A Viper Drips From Their Lips." Psalm 140:3

Each and every one of us is guilty of not holding our tongues...

People hurt us and out first instinct is to lash out...

Most of the time, it will start with a word, could be a barrage of words as well.

Instead of thinking before you react, you open your mouth and out comes a tongue lashing to the one who hurt you.

I am guilty of this as well.

I have always been the type of person who speaks before I think.

You know the type, the words are coming out faster than they can reel them back in.

I have been practicing the act of thinking before I speak.

If you see my mouth moving before words come out, it is because I am asking Him how to respond.

It isn't an easy task and I will admit, I fail more than I succeed on this one.

I wasn't raised to be a doormat, however somewhere along the way I have become one...

To each person in my life, somehow, someway, I have been a doormat.

Of course I never stopped to look at it that way, I just saw it as treating people the way you want to be treated.

You should be kind and caring...

Decent and compassionate...

Honest and loyal...

Loving and trustworthy...

The attributes I put forth are the same ones I want to see from those around me.

For the past 16 months, I have been demonized by the one person I always thought would protect me...

The one I pledged my life to, is the one who hurts me the most with his words.

Even though I have had time to put walls into place to protect myself from his spew, they are very fragile walls that he knocks down each time I hear from him.

Could be a word, could be a bunch of words, however it always ends the same, me in tears and full of anxiety.

Treat people the way you want to be treated...

Drilled into my head for as long as I can remember, thinking of course everyone was raised this way.

I know his parents, I know his Mom better than I know his Dad, however they never raised him to be this way.

Threats, ugly accusations hurled, blackmail, harsh words, lies,...

None of these are ingrained into someone, they are a learned behavior.

So what happens when you come up against someone you love and they speak to you in this manner?

I used to scream, yell, cry and I have been known to throw things as well.

I always let my anger get the best of me.

Now I try to breathe, I try to ignore, I try not to respond.

And now I try to remember the most important thing...

He is standing right next to me...

He can hear each and every word coming out of my mouth.

Try to think if this is something you would say to Him, before you say it to someone else.

Or think "Am I comfortable saying this knowing He is standing right here, next to me?"

Rather than focusing on what the person has said to hurt you, ask Him what you need to work on in your own life, let Him deal with them.

As my Dad is forever telling me, "Two wrongs don't make a right."

This has nothing to do with being a doormat and everything to do with being how He wants you to be.

Treating people, all of His people, how He wants you to treat them, not how you want to treat them.

T - True
H - Helpful
I - Important
N - Necessary
K - Kind

Think before you speak, you never know who is listening.

NEEDTOBREATHE
Though It Might Be Painful
You Know That Time Will Always Tell
Those People Have Long Since Gone
My Father Never Failed