Purity Of The Heart

"Search Me, O Lord, And Know My Heart; Test Me And Know My Anxious Thoughts. See If There Is Any Offensive Way In Me, And Lead Me In The Way Everlasting."

Psalm 139:23-24

Last night as I was reading, I came across a sentence on purity.

Anytime I heard the word "purity" I always thought it had to do with abstaining from sex.

I never got to the core of it, quite frankly it never crossed my mind...

Until last night.

I asked G, what did it mean to be "pure"?

I ask him a lot of things, he is my friend, my mentor but most of all he is my Brother in Christ and 99% of the time, he has wonderful insight into whatever I am asking.

He inspires me in all I do, he forces me to look deep within myself and seek the answers within, not in a book, not on the internet, not from my family or my friends, not even from him, however from Him.

Yes, sometimes it would be easier if he would just give me the answer, however I can't learn that way...

I would never seek so deep if it wasn't for him pushing me.

Purity ~

Living by the rules of God.

Living a life that is pleasing to God.

Living for the sole purpose of God.

Having a pure heart means keeping the moral laws of God.

This is what I am seeking, and to be honest it isn't easy...

The "dark" side calls in each and everything I do, it is up to me to not give in to it.

Temptation, so easy to give into, so hard to ignore.

Yet I try, each day, each minute to think, speak and act purely.

I am ashamed to admit I fail...

A lot.

As I spoke with G last night, I admitted some things that have been going on within me...

Changes that have taken place, slowly over the past few months, that I am now only beginning to see.

It seems each day, it is something new I am noticing.

As I go about my day, I have a voice within I am starting to hear...

I can assume it is Him, otherwise I may be carted off to the mental institution.

The quietest of whispers within my soul.

Not all the time, yet.

A voice so softly asking me "Is that what I would want from you"?

In every response I give to someone, I ask myself "Is it for Him or is it for me"?

I feel myself changing every second of the day.

I second guess everything, that is my nature, however now it is a different type of second guessing because I am asking if what I am doing will glorify Him.

I find myself treating my body better, His temple...

I am starting to watch what I put into it literally and spiritually.

The music I listen to used to be filled with anger, it fueled me in my battle with myself, now it is calming, inspirational, peaceful.

I used to watch a lot of TV, now I find myself going home and reading, meditating on His word instead.

My thought process has changed more in the last month than I ever thought possible.

My patience level is growing...

I see myself sometimes almost like I am standing outside, looking in...

I see my interaction with Tigger and sometimes I flash back to what I would have done prior as opposed to what I am doing now.

I see my relationships changing.

With my family, with my closest of friends, with friends not so close.

Most especially I see my relationship has changed with Him, in the most beautiful of ways.

I talk to Him as if I am talking to you right now.

I still pray naturally, however I can carry on a one-sided conversation most of the day and I am at peace with that, knowing eventually all the answers will fall into place.

There are areas I need some serious work on...

I still curse like a sailor, I still have people not of "like mind" that I surround myself with, people who are waiting and most likely taking bets to see when I will fail.

What they don't realize is I can't fail...

Not that I wont, I can't, because He is leading this path, He won't let me fail as long as I keep looking up.

As long as I remain pure within Him, I will soar.

CHRIS TOMLIN
And If Our God Is For Us, Then Who Could Ever Stop Us?
And If Our God Is With Us, Then What Can Stand Against?
And If Our God Is For Us, Then Who Could Ever Stop Us?
And If Our God Is With Us, Then What Can Stand Against?