8/4/09

WTF???

First thanks to everyone of you who emailed me congrats!

I am so proud of myself for how far I have come since this started...

There are still some awful days and some days which aren't so great but I am still alive and there are no cuts on me :)

Ok update...Hubby called yesterday - 3 times...

1st to speak to Tigger (Eeyore isn't talking yet) and then again when I was working and then once again he called to let me know he was downstairs at my work...

Uh-Oh...

I get that panicky feeling in the pit of my stomach - The one I have been trying to keep away - I checked my hair and make-up and then went downstairs...

Man he is a sight for sore eyes and I realize how much I miss him and still love him (even though I want to kick him where it hurts) and I want to run and hug him and beg him to come home...

But I play it cool...

Sup...

Ok I am not that cool LOL...

We chatted for a few about work, the boys, I told him I was baptized, he was proud, he isn't ready to come home, he misses me, he loves me, I call him out on his "happiness", told him he could continue to lie to himself but couldn't lie to me anymore - He didn't deny it (finally)...

He had to go back to work...

He told me he loved me, we hugged and somehow found ourselves kissing - "really" kissing (you know with tongue) for the first time in so long, he held my face as I held his...

He told me he loved me about 4 more times then left...

Not a word since :(

That is my WTF...

So I have been working on my outer image since I lost the weight - Still have more I want to lose though...

Still trying to find a house as well...

Anyway, about my image...

I have been trying new things like wearing 4 inch heels to a 4 hour church service - OMG my feet were killing me when I got home, makeup everyday and doing my hair instead of throwing it up...

I also have been buying a new clothing item here and there...

So I bought something totally out of character for me...

Thongs - This could be a WTF...

No need for pics cause you know what I am talking about...

I also bought the bra you see above - So pretty...

So I am looking for ideas to make myself the best self possible...

Anyone have some thoughts for me?

That is all I have today...

Have a wonderful night to you all...

(((Hugs)))

Yes that says Miley Cyrus - I like this song but didn't know who sang it - Don't tell anyone LOL!

MILEY CYRUS
There's Always Going To Be Another Mountain
I'm Always Going To Want To Make It Move
Always Going To Be An Uphill Battle
Sometimes I'm Gonna Have To Lose
Ain't About How Fast I Get There
Ain't About What's Waiting On The Other Side
It's The Climb


7 comments:

  1. How can we help you with self image tips if we don't know what you look like?! *hint hint feel free to include a picture of yourself next time hint hint* ;-)

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  2. LOL Nice Nikki...I will once all the weight I want to lose is gone...You know the basics - 5'10, blonde hair, blue eyes...I have really long legs and my chest is decreasing whoo-hoo - Not a fan of the chichis :)I have a flat butt - Used to have a bubble butt however that went away...I have a million dollar smile according to my Pastor and that is rare that anyone even sees it :)I just wonder what I need to do to attract my hubby back to me and away from the FT?

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  3. You sound amazing! Just the tone of your typing, if typing has a tone, sounds so much happier! I am so proud of you!

    I don't really have any tips, but you flaunt what you got honey! He'll be back in no time (if that's truly what's best)!

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  4. I agree with Ace! I can tell in your typing how you are doing! I am so happy to see you this way. I know you have had some dark days and I hate that.

    So how much more weight do you want to lose? I cant wait to see you:)

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  5. But if you have to lose weight before you show yourself to your closest friends... how do you know we are truly your friends? How can you be comfortable in your own skin if you don't trust people love you just the way you are? But Aces got a point. You sound stronger!!! YAY for that!

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  6. You do sound wonderful! Love the bra, it is very pretty. Thongs?!?!-You go girl! =)

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  7. Not a fan of the butt floss.... lol.

    Best fashion tip I ever got was when someone told me to stop hiding the bumps and lumps under baggy clothes and stop trying to squeeze those bumps and lumps into something I wore a decade ago. Buy clothes that fit your body right now.

    I was also told to dress one notch above my inclination. So if I felt like wearing sweats, I put on jeans and a t-shirt. If I felt like putting on jeans and a t-shirt, I put on slacks or dress jeans and a cute top... and so on.

    But don't do this for your husband. He didn't turn to another woman because there was something wrong with you, he turned to another woman because there's something wrong with HIM.

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