Thank you so much for letting me know I am not alone in anything I post here...
I told a fellow blogger this morning that it amazes me that I can reach out online and find so many who know exactly how I feel when in real life it just doesn't work that way....
I have a few more thoughts I wanted to put down...
First to a fellow bf...I won't reveal her name since she sent me an email however she put her heart into that email and let me know she knows exactly how I feel since this has happened to her....I know this is private since she didn't make any comments on it so to my bf (you know who you are)...Thank you...Thank you for showing me your heart and letting me know I am not alone...
Another bf Nikki asked me a really good question...
Do I trust him and not her (the ex)...Never thought of it that way and the answer is a resounding NO I don't trust her...Him I do of course but her...Never in a million years...Sad and funny thing - I have never laid eyes on the woman besides pictures...She doesn't live anywhere near us otherwise I would have long ago gone to her house and most likely beat her down and I know that isn't the answer but damn that would feel good right about now haha...
All of you sent me excellent suggestions on how to forgive and one of the ones I am enforcing today is letting him know (again) how I feel...
I went to lunch and bought a card and just sat here and wrote it all out...I am much better writing since my mind is always on overdrive and I forget things until later on...Writing allows me to slow down and say what I want right then and there.
I did apologize for being a bit psycho this past weekend but I won't apologize for anything else...I can't help how I feel however I can help how I project those feelings. (Holy hell - that line actually came from me! I can feel healing coming on lol)
I know some of you were shocked that I had kids - I know this because I received emails on it :) While my boys come first in my life, this isn't about them...
This is to help me become a better person for them...
I feel there are plenty of "mommy blogs" out there and I didn't need to make another one....
I may make a comment here and there about them...(Most especially my oldest at times because he is driving me crazy since he hit his teen years!) However my blog won't become about them...
This is about my healing...
Leaving my demons behind (finally) and moving forward...
You all allow me to be me...
I can say what I want without censoring and I have had no harsh judgements commented to me or my email box...
I can be pissed or down and one of you (if not all of you) will say something to snap me out of it...
I can bear my soul and you all still come back...
You let me be myself and I thank you for that...
Until tomorrow...
I hope you all have a wonderful night...
Be safe...(((HUGS)))
SHINEDOWN
Excuse The Wall, I Put It Up From Time To Time
A Silver Shade, And The Design Is All Mine
It's Just A Maze That Everyday I Seem To Be Stuck In
It Never Seems To Fade Away But I Pray For The Day It Ends
Very well put. And I think the beauty of having a blog is that it can be about whatever part of our lives that we want to put out there...to the rest of the world. I sure as snot don't share "every" aspect of my life...just the parts I feel I want to share....
ReplyDeleteI enjoy coming to your blog... I love how real you are. Real people are my favorite...;-) Life is full of all kinds of times,happy, sad...bitchy whatever. Thank you for sharing a little bit of who you are...I guarantee the rest of us can either relate..or learn something from what you share.
I agree with Juls...I love your blog. I feel so connected to you because you are so real. And you are not alone. We all have been through things and sometimes its good to go through them with BF's! And you have a good set of them!
ReplyDeleteI am happy to hear you got a card for the hubby...that is a start in the right direction. I think in your shoes I would be able to trust him but not her! It's a process and you are going to get through with it in time! I hope you have a wonderful night!
~Hugs~
I often feel connected to people on here by their words. Sometimes I find someone that is so right on with my soul that I just wish I could meet them in real life & hug them. ;)
ReplyDeleteYou know...I love this blog & I often find comfort in knowing that I'm not the only one out there that has had some of the same feelings/thoughts. As crazy as that may sound...you know what I mean.