7/20/09

I Am Back

Hello to all..

I am back...Back to my blog...Back to my old job...Not back to normal but that will take time :)

I won't go into how I missed you all since you already know...I was looking at my last post and need to add a little to that...What brought about the leaving...

Nothing that I saw coming...

3 weeks prior to this, we had a bit of a row...

Starting the next day, he was back to his normal self (it seemed)...

Loving and kind and being a good Dad...

No fights, no more phone calls or texts in front of me - Nothing...

I of course knew they were still talking but since it wasn't being rubbed in my face, I was fine (hoping it would die out)...

We went about our days just like before...

He would go out of his way to seek me out when I got home or when he was leaving etc...

The day he walked me to my car, I was on the way to work and he had to go in about an hour later then me (so I thought)...

In the time I left and my SIL came back to the house to pick something up, (it was 1 hour later) he had packed and was gone...

I didn't speak to him until this past Saturday when he came by my work...I am at a loss right now as some of you know...

I have still been going to Church and counseling with my Pastor...

I am still on my meds (though double the amount I was on a month ago)...

There is still a sense of WTF just happened...

I still feel physically ill if I stop and think of the whole situation...

I put all my feelings in a box and now only let out a smidge at a time - otherwise I don't think I will survive this.

CREED
Please Come Now I Think I'm Falling
I'm Holding To All I Think Is Safe
It Seems I Found The Road To Nowhere
And I'm Trying To Escape

5 comments:

  1. Hi girl :) Glad you're back. You will get paid at that job now, right? I know you went months without pay and that was why you left it in the first place.

    How are your boys?

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  2. Yay! I am so glad you are back.

    Ok...imagine this...I am dancing at my desk because I am so excited to see you blogging again! Yes, I am crazy but have missed you so much!

    How are the boys doing? I hate to hear what you are going through and my heart just breaks for all of you!

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  3. So glad you're back! Keep hanging in there!

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  4. Weeeeeellllllccccccccooooommmmmmmmeeeeee back, my Friend! I have missed you, too. Sorry you and the boys are going through all of this. Still have you all in my prayers. =)

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  5. hold on lady hold on
    it is hard but each day you will be stronger
    a year from now the wound will not bleed
    of course the scars never leave us
    two years from now you will find you don't think about it.
    five years from now you will not remember to look at the scars.
    your strong, your healthier than you have ever been. your on the right road. keep on one step at a time.
    and write, write, write!

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