Facing A New Year

"It Is Of The LORD's Mercies That We Are Not Consumed, Because His Compassions Fail Not. They Are New Every Morning: Great Is Thy Faithfulness. The LORD Is My Portion, Saith My Soul; Therefore Will I Hope In Him."

Lamentations 3:22-24 

The New Year is just about upon us...

A time to reflect on the old, and look forward to the new.

A time to dust off old resolutions, a time to break out new ones.

A time to shake off unwanted, negative emotions and welcome new, energizing emotions.

I have always loved the New Year, something about possibly getting another chance to make it right, like when the Seasons change, something is stirred within me to make some changes.

I used to make the same resolutions each year and by the end of January, I would have broken them so this year I am not making any resolutions, instead I am choosing a word for the year, a word to grow in, ponder on, apply towards my daily life etc...

My word for the year is Fulfillment.

The Year of Fulfillment.

"Completed to perfection" is one of the definitions.

Powerful.

This past year has been hard.

HARD.

I have lost.

I have gained.

Until recently, the losses always seemed to overshadow the gains.

Am I out of the valley?

No, but I have a wonderful Savior walking ahead, behind and beside me so I am never alone in that valley.

There is a pinprick of light being shone in that valley, a sign that things are starting to turn around (I can't share yet but in time, I will).

Are they turning around the way I had hoped?

Not in my wildest dreams.

They seem to be turning in a way I didn't even imagine, much less hoped for.

My marriage (yes, I am still married), though I had high hopes that He would step in and "save" the day, it doesn't look like that is what His will is and while I am sad by that fact, the sadness no longers wears me down like an overgrown rain cloud on a Summer day, swelling with the rain it is about to dump into the world.

In the past few months I have come to the conclusion that the man I knew, the man I loved with every beat of my heart, the one I married in front of God, is no longer...

Yes he looks like my husband, my best friend, however something is different to make him the person he is today.

I pray for him, I wish him happiness in whatever he seeks, and yes a part of me still wishes he would "wake up" and realize what it is he is truly throwing away.

And no I don't mean me, I am not that narcissistic, I meant everything in general.

Would I like him to be on this path with me to share the highs and the lows, the joys and the sorrows?

Absolutely, he was the one in this world that I could always count on, the one I trusted completely, the one I could go to and share whatever was on my heart without fear of ridicule or judgement, however he isn't that person right now.

So, instead, I take it all to Him instead and because of that, He is showing me just how worthy I am, just how much He loves me, just how much He has in store for me and if I trust in Him, just how fulfilled I can be.

To be fulfilled in the Love of Christ is to not want anything, not need anything and not miss anything (I have said this once before in passing on a different post).

Think about it - To not want, need or miss anything.

To be so covered by His Grace, Love and Mercy, the things you thought you would miss or want or need aren't even on your radar anymore.

The primary goal is to be so filled with His love that there isn't any room for anything other than Him, no other person nor object that can catch the attention of my heart.

To be so enchanted by His love, I am lifted up and fulfilled, completely.

I look at it like a building a child would make out of blocks, with each block representing an attribute I want to expand in...

Faith, grace, hope, humility, love, peace, compassion, empathy, kindness, honesty, morally strong, fairness, open-minded, flexible, motivated, cheerful, thoughtful, considerate, courteous, devoted, forgiving, unselfish etc....

Each one representing what He puts within me and as each one grows, I become more fulfilled with where He has me at this moment in time, more fulfilled with my walk, more fulfilled with Him and His love for me.

Happy New Year to you all, may He bless over each and every one of you.

What is your word for the year?