Two Sides: You Will Find Your Way...If You Keep Believing

4/29/10

You Will Find Your Way...If You Keep Believing

"He Alone Is My Rock And My Salvation; He Is My Fortress, I Will Not Be Shaken"

Psalm 62:6

"God is revealing the truth to you as you can handle it, each time it will feel like a setback, however it is not."

A very profound statement said to me this morning by G...

Only after I answered him when he asked me if I expected this to be done and over within one day...

My answer was yes, of course, to which he laughed...

In my mind, once the decision is made, it is done...

You take the time to implement your decision and you move on...

Never looking back...

That isn't working out for me in this circumstance...

I can go a few days and not think about the situation and once it feels like my feet are back underneath me, something comes along to knock me back on my butt.

Then I feel like I am at square one...

And I get back up and do it all over again...

The falling is starting to leave scars within...

Scars that won't be healed for quite some time...

You can't continue to knock someone down and not expect the marks to be made...

It may be so small at first you don't notice...

Over time the wound grows...

Sometimes it feels wide open and there are also times you feel it finally closing...

You start to get a little more breathing room in the storm...

Then, almost like clockwork, another wave comes along...

Crashing over you so hard it takes your breath away.

You just simply stand there waiting for the storm to subside...

Waiting for the wind to stop howling and the rain to stop falling...

The storms of life seem to have an ebb and flow about them...

If you believe, you know you are not alone...

You know He will either calm you or calm the storm...

If you don't believe, then you know you are on your own to fend for yourself...

If you are like me, well then I feel sorry for you...

I believe, however my faith has been tested almost to the absolute max...

I know logically He is right here with me...

Faithfully though, I am struggling...

It all boils down to one thing...

I just don't understand...

I could live a thousand years and still never understand...

I was raised to believe in an all-loving God...

Yet I look around and see so much pain that could have been avoided...

Not just with me, with others I know...

Good people who didn't deserve to have their life tainted by infidelity...

Good people who didn't even know their marriage was in trouble only to find out by a tiny voice of question...

Something was off-kilter yet they couldn't put their finger on it...

Where is the fairness in that?

I am not a bad person...

I may have done some questionable things in my life however overall I think I am a good person...

To good sometimes...

I have come to know some really decent people during the past year and it leaves me shaking my head in wonderment...

Where was He when all of our lives were being decimated?

As His children, why didn't He step in and protect us from the indescribable pain we were about to experience?

Once the bomb had been set off, why didn't He step in and shield us?

Why leave us out in the center of the storm without a life preserver?

Once the damage had been done why did the majority of us still have to go through many, many more mini-bombs?

As if the nuclear bomb of cheating on your spouse wasn't enough, let's throw in a few more bombs for good measure...

In my mind, He is all-powerful, all-loving and all-consuming...

In my mind I know all of these spouses who cheated will get their punishment...Someday.

That is a bitter pill for me to swallow because I want it done now.

The people I know want the karma bus to start pulling into each of our stations...

See I am not the only one who is suffering immensely...

There are thousands and thousands of people who are meeting this same fate each and everyday.

Where is He?

According to His book, He is right beside you...

He will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)...

It will feel like it...

There will be days when you just want to die...

When you don't, that is Him with you...

There will be days when you feel you just can't breathe...

When you do, that is Him with you...

No matter what you feel, He is feeling it as well...

He lays with you as you are crumbled on the floor, catching each tear as it falls...

He knows your fears, worries, doubts, anger etc...

He knows all...

He knew before it was even going to happen...

So if you believe nothing else, no matter how bad you are feeling, no matter how dark your season is, please believe this, He is right there beside you, helping to guide your way.