Doors

I have always been told when one door closes, another will open...


I have had numerous doors close around me recently...


Doors I can painfully hear slamming around me...


We all have heartache in our lives some more so then others, however that doesn't make yours less or more then mine...


It is how we choose to deal within that heartache, a lesson I have just recently learned...


The first few months of this mess were spent basically in my own "fog"...


I didn't eat, sleep or live the way I should have...


I lost a lot of weight rather quickly and am just now getting my appetite back...


I am finally able to sleep through the night again...


I took back my old job and have been actually doing work instead of playing online most of the day...

The door for the fog to leave is now open...

I look forward to each day with a prayer thanking Him for allowing me to have one more day of life...


I end each night thanking Him for all the good as well as the bad in my life...


Yes I said the bad...


In order for me to be where I am right now, all of this had to happen...


I have had to do some intense soul-searching...


I needed to find the person I am as well as what I wanted...


Do you know what I found out?


When most people would take the easy way out, I made a very difficult choice to stand by and put my faith in His hands...


In one of the most darkest moments of my life, I chose to rise out of the ashes of an old, dead marriage in the hopes of a new, stronger, better one then ever before...


I have severed ties with people who are downers...


I need to surround myself with people who have a positive mental attitude...


It is very hard to "be" someone for so long and then to do a complete 180 to become a different person...


I shouldn't say different but the changes I have made are for me and my self worth...


So I am a different person then I was a few months ago...


For the most part, I like the "new me"...


I feel like I am a better mother, friend, person etc...


I have more patience then I have ever had in my life...


I take nothing for granted...


I slow down more then I ever have before...


I forgive and move on, no longer holding onto any grudges...


There are 2 certain things I wish I could have back, however I know and accept I will never have them back...


Blind trust and blind faith in people...


I have to be cautious when meeting new people and I have found I am more cautious even with people I have known for a long time...


Not to say this is a bad thing, it is just something new to me...


So yes while there have been doors closing all around me, there have been others thrown wide open and I am embracing walking through these new doors...


My BF Gracie sent me a comment on my previous post and I will leave you with the words she sent to me...


Perfect words I have written in my book that I always carry with me now...


JOB 23:8-10
But if I go the East, He is not there;
If I got to the West, I do not find Him;
When He is at work in the North, I do not see Him;
When He turns to the South, I catch no glimpse of Him.
But He knows the way that I take;
When He tested me, I will come forth as gold.