4/20/09

Today

I have no words because my mind is nothing but a jumbled mess...I am taking what meds I have until I can get to the Dr. but I can't catch a thought...Nothing seems real and my mind is foggy so today...This is how I feel (Not what I would do - Just how I feel)...

**Explicit**

Papa Roach
Last Resort

Cut my life into pieces
This is my last resort
Suffocation
No breathing
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm, bleeding
This is my last resort
Cut my life into pieces
I’ve reached my last resort
Suffocation
No breathing
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm, bleeding
Do you even care if I die bleeding?
Would it be wrong?
Would it be right?
If I took my life tonight
Chances are that I might
Mutilation outta sight
And I’m contemplating suicide
Cuz I’m losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I’m fine
Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I’m fine
I never realized I was spread too thin
To live was too late
And I was empty within
Hungry!
Feeding on chaos
And living in sin
Downward spiral where do I begin?
It all started when I lost my mother
No love for myself
And no love for another.
Searching to find a love up on a higher level
Finding nothing but questions and devils
Cuz I’m losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I’m fine
Nothing's alright
Nothing is fine
I’m running outa crying
I’m crying
I'm crying
I'm crying
I'm crying
I can't go on living this way
Cut my life into pieces
This is my last resort
Suffocation
No breathing
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm, bleeding!
Would it be wrong?
Would it be right?
If I took my life tonight
Chances are that I might
Mutilation outta sight
And I’m contemplating suicide
Cuz I’m losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I’m fine
Nothing’s alright
Nothing is fine
I’m running and I’m crying
I can’t go on living this way
Can’t go on
Living this way
Nothing’s alright


12 comments:

  1. 10 more days to go... hang on for 10 more days...

    ReplyDelete
  2. You can do it. You're strong. :) Big Hugs and lots of prayers... I'm not trying to be overly cheerful... because I can't imagine, myself. Just want you to know I'm here..and I have faith in you.... You'll pull through.

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  3. I am praying for you. Praying....

    God be with you, my friend.

    Jellybean

    ReplyDelete
  4. When do you see the dr? Just hold on and know we're praying for you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You are in "good" company today. My mood blew up in my face this weekend. I'm praying for you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. You can make it! Just 10 more days! I am praying for you!

    ReplyDelete
  7. look, you are going to be ok. i know this. even the sanest of sane (whoever they may be!) have days where they just wanna say F it.

    so hang in there. we luv ya!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I KNOW IT IS HARD REALLY HARD
    and I also understand the time you just are too tired to wanna keep going.

    BUT BUT BUT

    You do keep going. You have to. There is too many of us praying for you. Rooting for you. And loving you from afar. Come on. Just a lil bit longer. Take it slow. Don't give up and do just one minute at a time. I will always be here to talk all I can. Honest. I have been there. Especially the first part:
    This is my last resort
    Suffocation
    No breathing

    ReplyDelete
  9. Just about to hit the hay, but wanted to stop by before ...and say, I'm praying for you. Big time....you've been in my thoughts, and I just wanted to let you know...take care of yourself girl...!

    By the way, I answered your @ recently:
    http://askcrazeejuls.blogspot.com/2009/04/speakin-your-mind.html

    ReplyDelete
  10. It's when we're at our weakest point when we realize how strong we are.

    Each time I said I couldn't handle anymore... I broke just that little bit extra. Each time I thought I was at my limit, I was pushed beyond it. In the end, when the dust settled, I was lying in shreds on the ground. But I survived! Now I have a much better understanding of my own strength. I can break, I can be torn to shreds, but I'll survive! This world can't get rid of me, and neither can it get rid of you. You are here to stay! You are more powerful that you can imagine!

    ReplyDelete
  11. *i really like that song, even though its so 'dark'*

    I'm sorry you were having a bad day. I REALLY HOPE its better today. I hate days like that...and the days that are good are filled with anxiety about when the darker days will come back. ((HUGS))

    ReplyDelete
  12. I re-gifted the award, you get it back!

    ReplyDelete

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