Trust Or Trust In?

"Trust In The Lord With All Your Heart And Lean Not On Your Own Understanding; In All Your Ways Acknowledge Him, And He Will Make Your Paths Straight."

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust is defined as an assured reliance on the character, ability, strength or truth of someone or something.

I have blogged about this topic before and will continue to do so as long as I am moved to write about it.

We all trust, some more deeply than others, yet we still trust.

Did you know you are only supposed to trust in Him?

Not yourself, not your spouse, not your friends, not your families etc...

Did you know there is a difference in trusting vs trusting in?

I have trust issues, I am not going to lie, most of the people I know who are in or have been in my situation feel the same way.

My mistake was trusting in my husband when I should have placed my trust in Him.

That wasn't my first mistake, I have a very long list of them.

Instead of choosing to trust, I chose to trust in, I thought I was untouchable, my life was just about perfect, I had very few complaints, I had a husband I loved, kids I adored, a house I loved, a job, a car, security etc...

And I am ashamed to say, I didn't always stop and just say "thank you."

So, what happens?

You should all know the story by now, I lost almost everything.

He didn't make it happen, He allowed it to happen, there is a huge difference.

He could have stopped everything at any point in time, yet He chose not to, so I in turn trust in Him and what He has planned for my life.

Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I used to blame Him for everything, I would think to myself "Why would you let this happen?" Because in my way of thinking, He has the power to end all evilness on this Earth, the power to restore families, the power to heal the sick, the power to not allow anyone to be cold or go hungry etc...

Why not use that power to make the world a better place?

Then I learned about free will.

We have a choice in each and everything we do, we have free will from Him and the choices we make fall on our shoulders, not His.

Of course He wants you to make the correct choices, yet He isn't going to force His will on you, it is there for the taking, you have to choose to follow it.

I don't think most people choose to be homeless, nor sick, nor divorced, nor abused etc... I think extenuating circumstances places people in situations they didn't want to be in, yet they don't quite know how to get out of.

Those are some of the people you should be bridging the gap with, the ones who are lost in the darkness and can't find their way out, He trusts in you to help take care of His children.

I can't see around the bend in the road ahead, He can however, He knows exactly what is in store for me on any given day I am thankful enough to be woken up.

Trusting in others, trusting in yourself isn't going to get you very far.

It is tainted by "man", by sin...

To place your trust in anyone other than Him will bring about failure in the long run.

Spouses can fail, marriages can fail, friends can fail, jobs can fail etc...

He can't fail, ever.

He has already conquered the world.

In order to walk on the water, you have to step out of the boat, in order to step out of the boat, you have to place your trust in Him.

CASTING CROWNS
To Know You Is To Hear Your Voice When You Are Calling
To Know You Is to Catch My Brother When He Is Falling
To Know You Is to Feel The Pain Of The Broken Hearted
Cause They Can't Live Without You.
 

Bridging The Gap

"Even In Laughter The Heart May Ache, And Joy May End In Grief." 

Proverbs 14:13 

Yesterday I spent part of the day blog hopping, work was slow and I wanted to catch up with my bloggy friends.

I miss all you guys so much and I hate feeling like I can't get back to each of you, I am trying, slowly but surely.

I came across some new blogs, blogs that caused my heart to feel heavy, so much pain out there, so much unnecessary sadness.

Children sick, on the verge of death, people who can't put food on their table, spouses abandoning their families on a whim etc...

So much suffering, which brought back a conversation I had a while back with someone at Church on one of my nights to feed the homeless.

T is a homeless woman, a little woman, I would say no more than 4'9, then again compared to my 5'10 almost every woman is pretty much little.

She is filthy when she comes in to the Church, her clothes are in a dire need of  a washing, she reeks of alcohol, she is demanding with her food, the way it is dished on her plate and not entirely grateful, yet for some reason, she makes me smile.

Her face is weathered from being out in the Florida sun all day, tan but wrinkled and she always has a smile, even when she is demanding.

She is kind to me, so in turn I am kind to her.

I see her around town every so often on the back of her boyfriends' (he is homeless as well) bicycle.

He isn't always nice to her and we have had to call the police to the Church a few times because of it.

One Tuesday, I walked in to get ready for the feeding and she was already in the Church, sitting in a corner, on a chair, shoeless and sad.

No smile today, no wave, no acknowledgement of anyone around her.

Just a lost look in her eyes and a sad look on her face.

No one said anything to her, just went about their business getting ready before we could let anyone in.

I debated if I should go to her and then walked over.

I said hi to her, she looked up at me and I realized then that she was crying.

I kneeled down and asked her what was wrong, was there anything I/we could do?

Her boyfriend had hit her, something she was obviously used to, something she expected by what she said to me, something she was okay with.

It isn't okay, I told her, never, regardless of the circumstances, is it okay for one human to hit another. (Man/woman, it just doesn't matter, keep your hands to yourself)

We talked for a little bit while the people I worked with got ready, I didn't feel I could leave her and that is where He wanted me, the kitchen staff would have to do without me.

She didn't want prayer, she just wanted an ear, so I listened and as I listened, I looked into her weathered face, I could see some wise years in her face. She lived a hard life and it showed, yet she was okay with that, she wasn't bitter nor angry, just sad.

The homeless were starting to enter the Church and she seemed to be done talking, so I stood up, took her hand, pulled her into a standing position and hugged her.

At first she stiffened, but that didn't last long, she returned the hug tightly, looked into my face, smiled and went to get some food.

As I turned to enter the kitchen, I noticed one of the workers looking at me oddly, yet I didn't think anything of it.

I had work to do, so I did the feeding and afterwards, I went to sweep/mop because there is a board meeting directly after we feed the homeless in the same area of the Church.

As I was working, I overheard someone say something about "touching" one of those people.

EXCUSE ME???

Now, you know I am a non-confrontational person, I will go out of my way to avoid conflict just because I don't like drama, nor do I have any use for it.

I didn't know where the comment had come from, nor who had said it, all I know is the words cut deeply to my core.

"One of those people" as if she wasn't worthy of human touch, as if she is a leper, unworthy of human contact.

I felt deeply ashamed that these words came from someone in my Church, a Christian who is there to feed the homeless, yet throws those little darts out.

What if T had heard that?

What if that was her last meal in that Church, because she felt she wasn't welcome there either?

I am thinking I would probably already feel like the world was against me if I was in her position.

Guess what, I already am in her position.

Technically I am homeless as well, I just don't sleep on a street, by His grace and mercy, my parents live here and I am just a little luckier than she is.

Does that make me better than her?

Not by a long shot.

Does that make you better than me?

Not at all.

None of us is better than the other, some of us are just luckier.

Just because your house is bigger, you drive a better car, have more money in the bank etc...Doesn't make you better.

It should make you more grateful, it should open your eyes up to the world around you, to show you just what you have that others don't.

However, for most of us, it doesn't.

I had to be stripped of almost everything before my eyes were opened and I would truly hate for any of you to experience what has befallen me.

Pure goodness has come out of my pain though, empathy in spades for others who have even less than I do, compassion for the underdog, a protectiveness I never knew I had, a deep desire to protect others who can't help themselves.

Yet, even I know I can't do it alone, everyone has to come out of their "selves" and pitch in.

I am sorry to say, but life is not just about you.

Shocking, I know, so I will take this moment to pause while you actually let that sink in.

You good?

Okay I will continue.

This is going to be aimed at my Christian brothers and sisters...

I want you to read the following Scripture, read it, let it sink in...

James 2:14-17 "What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead."

Romans 14:13-17 "Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean. For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died. So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit."

Pretty powerful words there my friends.

Not hard to put into place though, help your fellow man, bridge the gap between you and them.

God blessed you in a way to share with others, you aren't supposed to hoard your blessings.

1 Timothy 6:17-19 "Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life."

I don't think this is entirely about "money", seeing as He provides everything for us.

I don't have much in the way of money, yet I have been blessed with time for others, an ear if someone needs it, a shoulder to cry on, a prayer if it is needed etc...

Whatever He has blessed me with, I try my hardest to share with others, that is how we are all supposed to be.

Do you know of  a bridge that needs a gap filled?

Step out of "self" my friends, before it is too late.

MATTHEW WEST
Father Break My Heart For What Breaks Yours
Give Me Open Hands And Open Doors
Put Your Light In My Eyes And Let Me See
That My Own Little World Is Not About Me

The Teacup

"Can I Not Do With You As This Potter Does? Declares The Lord. Like Clay In The Hand Of The Potter, So Are You In My Hand.'

Jeremiah 18:6

A couple went into an antique shop and saw a beautiful magnificent little teacup sitting high upon a shelf. And they just fell in love with that teacup.

They said, "We have got to have that teacup!" They were admiring the teacup – when all of a sudden the teacup began to talk to them.

It said, "You know, I have not been always like this. There was a time when nobody would have wanted me. There was a time when I was not attractive at all. You see there was a time in my life when I was just an old, hard, gray lump of clay. And the Master potter came along and He picked me up one day and He began to pat me and reshape me; and I said, "Stop it! What are you doing? That hurts! Leave me alone!’ and He simply looked at me and said, "Not yet!"

And then He put me on this wheel and He began to spin me around, and around and around! And I got so dizzy and could hardly see where I was going anymore! I was losing it! Everything was spinning around and around and I felt sick to my stomach. And I said; "Let me off of here!" and He said: "Not yet!".

Finally, the day came when I had taken on another shape. All of that spinning around finally gave me another shape. All of that patting and molding and squeezing and pinching gave me another shape. And all of a sudden – He put me into this FURNACE! It is called the first firing. And it was so hot in there!

Oh, I could not believe how hot it was. I thought, " I can’t stand this! I’m going to DIE in here! "GET ME OUT OF HERE!!! Don’t you love me?? (Crying.) Why are you leaving me in here?"

You see, the oven door had glass in it and the Master would just look in with His eyes, but He wouldn't let me out!! He would just smile at me and say, "Not yet!"

FINALLY, the oven door opened and he took me out – set me on a shelf and I thought, "Whew! Thank God that is over!".

Then He began to paint me all over with this stinky paint! Changing my color from gray to this pretty blue that I am now! And I said: "This stuff stinks! It is choking me! (coughing) I don’t like this smell!"

STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!’ He would just say: "Not yet!"

Then He put me back in a SECOND oven. It is called the second firing, and it was TWICE as hot as the first oven!

And I thought, "Now, I will DIE in here for sure! This is the end of me. This will finish me off! Get me out of here! I can't stand it! I can't stand it! Really – I am telling you – I can’t stand it! This is going to kill me! Get me out of here!"

 And He would just look through that glass and say: "Not yet!"

Then one day the door finally opened – He took me out and He put me up here on this shelf to let me cool off. After I cooled off, one day He came by and He handed me this mirror and I looked at myself and I could not believe how BEAUTIFUL I was!

I could not BELIEVE how I have CHANGED!

Why, I did not look anything at all like that old gray clay that I started out to be!

Now, I am this beautiful, little, delicate teacup. And everybody wants me now. But there was a time in my life when nobody wanted; nobody liked me; nobody paid any attention to me! They just kicked me around; walked on me.

But now – "I am special! But I wasn't always this way!”
 
The Teacup ~ Joyce Meyer
 

I got up this morning and checked a few things on the computer before heading to work.

I received a message that likened me to this story, I have never heard this story before and when I got the message, I was completely clueless when she stated I was like the tea cup.

Of course once I got to work the first thing I did was search for it.

Made a mental note to seriously invest in some waterproof mascara and set about sharing this with you all.

How perfect is this story while looking back at all the fires you have traveled in your life. To truly be able to see just how you were before you entered and then how you were when you exited.

To see the Mercy and Grace He has shown upon your life, to know that no matter how hot the fire is/was/is to come, He will never, ever leave your side.

Thank you S for the comparison, it is truly beautiful my friend.

MARK SCHULTZ
And When All Hope Is Gone
And I've Been Wounded In The Battle
He Is All The Strength That I Will Ever Need
He Will Carry Me

Good Just Isn't Good Enough

"Let Us Then Approach The Throne Of Grace With Confidence, So That We May Receive Mercy And Find Grace To Help Us In Our Time Of Need."

Hebrews 4:16

I have started 3 posts in the past 3 days and haven't finished any of them.

My days have been filled with work, moving, Tigger, Church, normal day to day things thrown in there for good measure, and sometimes it seems I am stretched too thin.

So what happens?

I become overwhelmed, angry, resentful, and those around me suffer because of it.

I take my eyes off of Him and start to focus on the "world" around me, start to think I can take care of things better than He can, in a quicker manner, with a better response.

That is what happened this past weekend.

I sat outside at my parents' new house and just allowed the events of the past 20 months wash over me.

I relived the lies, the blame, the broken promises, the rewriting of marital history, the arguments, the ugly words that have been exchanged etc...

And something happened, I got angry.

Not a little angry, a full blown anger that seeped into every crevice of my being.

An anger that ran so deep, it scared even myself.

Not only was I angry at my husband for what he had done, as well as what he is still doing, but I found myself mad at Him for not allowing this to be avoided.

Sure, this has tested my Faith unlike anything I have ever encountered, it brought voice to a calling I have ignored for years, it brought me closer to Him, yet in my selfishness, I look at it as, it could have been done a different way.

I didn't need to be "stripped" of almost everything for Him to get my attention.

At least I didn't think I needed to be.

But in the interest of fairness, I delved deeper to see why I was angry at Him, truly angry...

In my mind, I am a good person...

I help my fellow man as much as I can, I tithe whenever I can, I go to Church, I pray etc...

I do what is necessary of me to feel "good" about myself, but what happens when good, just isn't good enough?

Yes, you can do all those things and still have anger and doubt and worry and why do you think that is?

Maybe, because God is all-knowing and has the power to fix everything, yet there you sit, wondering why things haven't changed or they aren't changing fast enough for you.

Maybe you have fallen prey to being disappointed in Him, you are praying, you are fasting, you are waiting.

Maybe you have been waiting for quite some time, waiting for a child, a spouse, a financial break, health, a new job etc...

Yet things don't seem to be changing, so day by day you allow resentment to set in, resentment at Him for not making your life just a tad bit easier.

The minute you allow resentment at Him to set in, you stunt your spiritual growth, you get drawn away from Him and what He wants for you.

If you continue to allow bitterness and resentment to live within you, you cease to exhibit the fruits of the Spirit and start exhibiting the fruits of the flesh.

You have now given the devil a foothold into your mind and he will run right through there laying seeds of doubt and worry and bitterness and anger.

If you are stuck in a mindset of being angry at Him, you need to repent and allow God to help you get you back to where you need to be.

The biggest mistake we make as humans is thinking that because God is in control, we can then turn around and expect Him to keep bad things from happening to us, because that is what we would do if we were in complete control, and when it doesn't happen, we get mad.

Can anyone point out to me where in the Bible it says the minute we come to Him, our lives will be golden, nothing bad will ever happen to us and we will live happily ever after?

This isn't a fairy tale people.

Scripture clearly states, that though bad things will come into our lives and affect each and every one of us, they will not destroy us, each bad thing, each trial, each tribulation will be used by Him to develop strength and character.

We need to clearly understand, He does see the good as well as the bad things that happen to us and it is our responses to such things that make us either stronger or weaker in our Faith.

It is easy to get mad at circumstances surrounding us, easy to rage at anyone who crosses our path, as well as rage at Him, it takes a very strong person to watch their life fall apart and say thank you for it.

I will admit, I am not that strong all the time.

Just because you "do" all the right things doesn't mean your mindset is of all the right things.

I can do all the right things in the world, however at the end of the day if I have the mindset of a sinner, all my good goes out the window.

I can try and help each person I come in contact with, yet if I judge them in my mind, I am truly no better than I was a year ago.

I can give away the last dollar in my pocket, but if I am rude and disrespectful to those around me it doesn't mean squat.

Being good has to go hand in hand with thinking good.

Just because you are a Christian and you said the words, doesn't mean you can continue to sin and be as nasty as you want to be.

James 2:20 states that "Faith without works is dead", do you understand what that means?

Me either until I looked into it some more...

It means ~ You accept Him as your Lord, you commit your lives to Him and you commit to following His example as best as you can.

It means you can't sit on the sidelines, you have to "dive in" head first.

Let His love surround you completely, let it overwhelm you (trust me, it will), let it cover every inch of you and then your Faith will be a living Faith.

It will change you completely, no, you won't be perfect and yes, you will still have bad days, however, as you learn more and strive to be more Christ like, you will truly know that being good, just isn't good enough.

STEVEN CURTIS CHAPMAN
But We Will Never Know
The Awesome Power Of The Grace Of God
Until We Let Ourselves Get Swept Away
Into This Holy Flood
So If You'll Take My Hand
We'll Close Our Eyes And Count To Three
And Take The Leap Of Faith

Never Be Untouchable

"I Am The Good Shepard. The Good Shepard Lays Down His Life For The Sheep. The Hired Hand Is Not The Shepard Who Owns The Sheep. So When He Sees The Wolf Coming, He Abandons The Sheep And Runs Away. Then The Wolf Attacks The Flock And Scatters It. The Man Runs Away Because He Is A Hired Hand And Cares Nothing For The Sheep. I Am The Good Shepard; I Know My Sheep And My Sheep Know Me - Just As The Father Knows Me And I Know The Father - And I Lay Down My Life For The Sheep. I Have Other Sheep That Are Not Of This Sheep Pen. I Must Bring Them Also. They Too Will Listen To My Voice, And There Shall Be One Flock And One Shepard"

John 10:11-16

I was working on a different post earlier today when I received a phone call from a lady I know through Church.

She was a bit upset and with some prodding from me, I sat and listened to her tell me about some things that have been going on.

Things I didn't want to hear about my Church, things I still don't understand.

Now I may be blond or as some call it naive, however I was always under the impression that Christians had it easy...

You go to Church on Sunday, you are kind and compassionate and caring, never uttering a cross word, nor beating your kids or spouse, nor drinking and cheating and gambling etc...

Yes, I was wrong.

My Pastor was one of the first people to tell me that the minute I got saved, the second I was baptized, my world would change.

Satan would come after me harder than he ever did before just because I was now following Christ.

Never did I expect Satan to follow me into Church, he did and he came in full force and did all he could to get me to turn my back.

I have had unkind words spoken about me, unkind words spoken about people I sit with, I have had people get up from a pew if I sit there, I have seen the Church jammed full with people packed in their seats like sardines and I have a whole empty pew to myself.

It saddens me and I can see that it saddens my Pastor when he comes out and sees it, however after over a year, I am used to it and I realized that it isn't about them, it is about me and my walk with Him.

I am not going anywhere, I am there for a reason and while some days it may be a bit uncomfortable, I know that the ones who don't want me there need my prayers a little more than others.

I have made many wonderful connections at the Church, however I am still considered an "outsider" and that is okay.

I am an usher, on the official board, feed the homeless, in Bible study every week, in Church almost every Sunday, in school to become a Pastor, yet some of them still don't quite accept me.

That is okay as well.

Narrow mindedness never scared me, it was nothing I was ever taught so I never really ran into it before now.

Now we have a new person who has joined the Church, one of a different race, Hispanic I would say but don't quote me, I am white as most of you know and the Church is an AME Church. (African Methodist Episcopal for my new readers)

I wasn't born with a thick skin, I let everything bother me because I wear my heart on my sleeve, or as G says "tender-hearted".

I hurt easily, I am very empathetic and I am usually guided by my emotions.

I watch it all, take it all in and then will say something if I feel it is called for.

In the past month I have seen some changes going on, subtle changes, which seem to not be a very good thing.

I see a popularity thing happening, and in my opinion there is no place for that in Church, regardless of what Church you go to, I feel each and every person who walks through those doors should be treated equally.

I don't care what you wear, what you drive, where you work or where you live, last time I checked, there is but one God and to shun someone who comes to your Church is a sin.

Jesus loved the outcasts...

Drug addicts, prostitutes, lepers, cast aways, criminals, rejects of life etc...

People thrown away by others were welcomed by Him, He in fact searched for them.

We are all His sheep, all of us, race, color, creed, religion.

When He walked this Earth, He was never untouchable...

He never turned a blind eye to someone with leprosy, He didn't shun someone due to their skin color, He didn't think one neighbor was better because they had a younger donkey then the one in the pen next door.

He loved everyone, period.

You and I were created in His image - Genesis 1:27 "So God Created Man In His Image, In The Image Of God He Created Him; Male And Female He Created Them."

As I sat on the phone and listened to this woman, she said something to me that reached me to the core, she said "Once you have your title, (Pastor) please don't forget the "little people", please don't become untouchable."

She doesn't want me to become like some religious leaders, Pastors you can't talk to without going through an army to get to them, Ministers who don't have the time of day for the flock they are supposed to be watching over, Fathers who aren't ever in the Church when they are needed.

That broke my heart and I vowed to her I wouldn't be like that.

He gave me this calling to make a change, a change in someones life, never once have I thought it was to become better than anyone and if you ever, ever, see me acting like that, I expect one of you to come and slap me back down to reality.

If you, as a religious leader has become untouchable to your congregation, maybe it is time to step back and do a spiritual check.

Are you doing God's will or are you doing your will?

LUMINATE
From The Shadows
From The Wrong Roads
From The Darkness
From The Unknown
To Redemption