"For Unto Us A Child Is Born, Unto Us A Son Is Given: And The Government Shall Be Upon His Shoulder: And His Name Shall Be Called Wonderful, Counsellor, The Mighty God, The Everlasting Father, The Prince Of Peace."
I thought this Christmas would be easier than last Christmas.
I apparently live in a fantasy world.
Christmas is a time of joy, a time to be around the ones you love and quite frankly I don't want to be around anyone this year.
I have zero Christmas spirit, don't want to hear anymore Christmas music and each day that is comes closer the more ill I feel.
The boys are with him this year and I miss them terribly.
I will go so far as to say I miss him as well.
I miss what we had, the traditions we established as a family unit and it seers my soul to know he is playing house with my kids and his mistress.
I know I am supposed to love everyone, regardless of what they have done, what they are doing or what they about to do...
Hate the sin, not the sinner...
Do you even understand how hard that is?
To have that silent Voice within tell me to love him, forgive him, don't think ill of him etc...
To have that same Voice tell me to love her, forgive her and not think ill of her...
I sat here today, after receiving some more disturbing news and I finally "got" why this is the time of year when suicides go up.
I see so many happy people, walking around the mall, shopping for loved ones, laughter spilling out of almost every corner of every store I enter.
Then I see the other side.
The people who stood in line Tuesday night for food, dirty, sad, just about forgotten by the world and I wonder if they were ever happy.
Did they ever go Christmas shopping?
Do they ever laugh?
I go home to a Christmas tree with zero ornaments on it (because my sister has a feral cat she rescued who eats everything in sight) and I wonder where they go?
I sit with just the Christmas lights on and I think about that night so long ago, the night He was born and I wonder if they possibly sit outside a decorated house thinking the same thing?
I wonder if they blame Him for their circumstances, if they are angry or if they are just content with what life has brought them?
I wonder if they are thankful?
I will admit I have had a very hard time learning how to be thankful in everything, regardless of what it is.
Being thankful during the good times is easy, giving thanks for yet another bombshell is one of the toughest things I have ever done.
I do it because it is something that needs to be done.
Do I do it happily?
No I don't.
I do it because it is expected of me, when all I really want to do is punch something or someone.
I know what I am "supposed" to do, but sometimes I just don't want to...
Sometimes I miss the old me, the me who cursed like a sailor, the me who wouldn't bat an eye to get in the car and open up a "can" of you know what.
However that isn't what Christmas is all about.
On this day, Christmas Eve, no matter what you are facing, take a moment to look deep within and remember that night so long ago.
That silent night our Savior was born.
Remember how He came, why He came and all that He did while He was here.
Remember what He did for you.
Remember what is expected of you.
Remember to treat everyone, no matter what, with love, as He treats you.
Remember to forgive every one who has ever hurt you, as He forgives you.
Remember the ones who seem forgotten, as He remembers them.
Remember it isn't about what is under the tree or how much is under the tree.
Remember it is all about a baby in a manger who came to this Earth to die for you so that you may have everlasting life.
As a New Year looms closer, it is time to release selfishness, time to understand this isn't about you, this is about the people He places in your path and how you treat them.
Time to become rooted and grounded in love for one another, regardless of the situations and circumstances.
Time to forgive and move forward.
Time to remember "why" we are here, what our "job" is and how we are accomplishing His work that He set within each and every one of us.
So as you finish your last minute preparations for tomorrow, take a moment to remember.
Remember the Reason for this wonderful Season.
Step outside of yourself and look around.
Then ask yourself if you are doing all you can possibly do to extend the love He has given you.
My dear friends, have a very Merry Christmas.
May God bless and watch over each and every single one of you.
Silent Night, Holy Night
All Is Calm, All Is Bright
Round Yon Virgin Mother And Child
Holy Infant So Tender And Mild
Sleep In Heavenly Peace
Sleep In Heavenly Peace