I wear a bracelet with these words inscribed on them everyday, this passage of the Bible means a lot to me and speaks volumes to my heart.
Nikki asked me yesterday why I didn't believe in divorce.
She asked me if it was a dogma I was raised with or a personal belief.
Last night as I took my walk, I thought long and hard about this question, about my beliefs.
It isn't the stigma that comes with divorce, it isn't even anything I was raised with.
Regardless that it is against the Bible, it is something I feel deeply all the way to my soul.
I wasn't the type of girl who always wanted to get married and have babies, quite frankly, I don't even like children so I never expected to have any.
Then one day in '89 I met the man who would be my future husband.
He was 20 when I met him and the single most kindest man I have ever met.
Out of all the boys/men I dated, I knew when I laid eyes on him, that he was the one.
He treated me like a queen, like I actually mattered, we were engaged 4 months later and married 4 months after that.
Before we were married, we had spiritual counseling to make sure we were on the same page.
The first couple of years were a bit hard and as a couple we have gone through a lot together, however the key word there is together.
Nothing that came our way could hurt us because we were a team.
I love him with all my heart...
The vows I took on that day 20 years ago I meant with every fiber of my being.
I knew if I ever did get married, it would be for life, for better or for worse.
We have had better, at this point in time we are at worse.
For 20 years he was there for me, he was the one who picked me up when I fell, the one who held me when I cried, he guided me out of some very dark times in my life, he kept me from being lost within myself, he is my strength, my rock.
He always saw the best in me and he never gave up on me.
Now the tables are turned so what kind of person would I be to turn my back on him and give up on him without a fight?
For the first time in 20 years he needs my strength and I can't deny the path we have been called to.
He has never raised a hand to me in anger, he hardly ever raises his voice, he has been a wonderful father and a terrific husband, more then any one person could ask for.
He is now lost, he has turned his back on everything he has believed in and as a Christian but more importantly as his wife, it is up to me to guide him.
Because of the way he has treated me in the past, I am strong enough to rise to the challenge...
Sure some days are harder then others however I won't give up on him...
He has stopped believing in God, he has stopped believing in us, our family, our marriage and sadly himself, however I still believe in him...
I believe God will work this out...
I believe we were put together by Him and this is not what he has envisioned for us.
Right now my husband is in the hands of the enemy and it is up to God to battle...
In order for Him to battle, I have to step out of the picture...
I am here if my husband needs anything and he knows that however I have to stand behind my God and trust in Him to do His will.
1 Corinthians 13:13 says - "And Now These Three Remain: Faith, Hope And Love. But The Greatest Of These Is Love."
This is what marriage is all about...
This is why I don't believe in divorce...
And Now I'm Glad I Didn't Know
The Way It All Would End
The Way It All Would Go
Our Lives Are Better Left To Chance
I Could Have Missed The Pain
But I'd Of Had To Miss The Dance