"It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone."
Ephesians 1:11-12 (Message)
This past Monday my hard drive died, without warning. I lost everything due to the fact that my back-up system was not working, as I thought it was. Almost 3 years of school work, music, sermons, all of my pictures, websites I visited etc... All of it gone.
I ended up having to buy a new hard drive which my Dad was kind enough to install, but in the few days it took me to get my computer up and running, all I could do was fret. Each week I am under deadlines for school and as each day passed without my computer, the worry enveloped me like a fog. Now that my computer is back up, I am pressed for time to complete the assignments for this week, however, as you all know by now, if a post is brewing, I cannot do anything until I get it written.
I heard her, before I saw her. She is about 10 or 11 years old.
I saw her on Monday night and then again on Thursday.
I sit in the same place these 2 nights of the week, waiting for little man, as he is tutored in Math...
I am ashamed to admit that I do not want to be disturbed.
I need this hour to read whatever assignments I have and 99% of the time, the area is empty, except for me.
I take out my book, my papers, my highlighter, and a pencil... Praying that my computer will be back up and running before the assignment (which I write down a week ahead of time, thank goodness) is due, praying for His wisdom, as well as praying for clarity.
I am lost in the Book of Acts,which has been a tough book for me to absorb.
Normally I can "block out" noises around me, this night was a different story.
Like I said, I heard her, before I saw her.
*Sniffles* "Tissue!!!" I think to myself. (I am in a center designed for children, therefore I am assuming "sniffles" are normal around here.)
*SNIFFFFFFLES* "Seriously???" I think to myself as I glance up and see her sitting on a chair, knees drawn up to her chin, head hung down low, a piece of paper in one hand, and a pencil in the other.
She must have sensed that I had glanced at her, as her face rose up a fraction, and it was then that I could see she was crying.
I thought to myself, "Selfish much Serenity?" All I wanted was peace for an hour to concentrate and now I knew I would not be able to get back to what I was doing, until I made sure she was alright.
She caught my eye and I asked her "Are you okay?"
She put her head back down, but shook it up and down as if to let me know that yes, she was okay.
Then he came around the corner.
I had seen him in action with her on Monday, and while I am not one to judge anyone on their parenting skills, I will admit he was a bit off-putting.
She was not there for tutoring (one of her siblings was), however, he had her bring her homework with her and I guess considered this the place for her to do it, with his help.
"Honesty nugget" **I would rather gnaw my own arm off than to do homework with little man... He is an absolute nightmare when it comes to sitting down and focusing on the task at hand and more than once, each of us has left the table in tears.**
"Are you done?" he asked her... Done with what? (I think to myself) She answered him with the shaking of her head, as she had done with me and he said, "Good, get your pencil and we will try again."
She got up and went off with him to a different room and I did not see her for the rest of the night.
This was a teaching moment for me.
I will admit I get caught up in "me" sometimes, that I do not see the world around me, until I am smacked in the face by it.
I do not do well with a hundred voices speaking to me all at the same time, it is absolutely debilitating to me within when it starts to happen. I begin to tune everything out, because I cannot focus on everything all at once.
However, as I sat in that room, God gave me a chance to look past what I felt I needed to do at that moment, and see other things around me.
He opened my eyes so to speak, in order to see that there will be times that I have to put aside what I deem "most important" and focus on what He deems "most important.
It is written in Isaiah 55:8-9 (ESV) "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
If that passage does not slap some sense of humility into you, I do not know what would. How many of us like to feel that what we do is soooooo important?
Perhaps you feel that work would shut down, if you did not show up; or the choir just will not be able to handle to song, without your voice to carry it; or the world would cease to exist, if you did not climb out of bed today.
Eveyone is just as important as you are, as I am, and we need to get to the place where we treat each other as such.
It is time to open your eyes and truly look at the world around you.
Focus on what He is trying to show you.
Be Still I’ll Never Leave You
When You’re Far I Am Near
My Grace Will Always Be Greater
Than The Sum Of All Your Fears