"Greater Love Has No One Than This, That He Lay Down His Life For His Friends"
John 15:13I have a few best girlfriends, some I have known for years and years but for whatever reason, I just seem to get along with men better.
As long as I can remember, it has always been like that.
My best friend in the world was a male and I was thinking about him today...
We went to the prom together, hung out daily together, he helped teach me how to drive etc...
A true friend in every sense of the word.
I loved him and trusted him completely.
I got married at 18 and he didn't come to my wedding...
2 months after I was married, I moved to Italy...
I hadn't been in Italy a month and due to some bad choices, he committed suicide.
Never, ever is life that bad.
When I received word, I was devastated...
I couldn't come back for the funeral and have yet to visit his grave to this day.
I go by the cemetary where he is buried every night when I walk, I just haven't been able to face the complete closure I know I need.
Because of the heartbreaking loss, I treasure each and every one of my friends...
I have never understood people who just use their "friends" for whatever they can get from them and then toss them aside until the next time.
True friends are a gift from Him.
I am thankful for each one that is in my life, no matter how long or how short they are here.
Some are like a whisper on the wind, here for a short time and then gone.
Some stay around longer, rooted within Faith, grounded by Him.
Each one is there for a purpose and once that purpose is over, it may be time for them to move on.
There are a few I have a very strong connection with...
I know when they are in pain, I know when all is well, I know when they are faking their happiness and I know when they are truly joyful.
It seems the closer I get to someone, the more capable I am of "feeling" their emotions.
You don't even have to say a word, I know and I will seek you out to make sure you are okay and if it turns out I was right, I will do whatever I can to help you.
That is how a friendship should be...
People seem so self-entitled & so self-involved they don't have the time to cultivate the gift He gave to you.
Each person on your journey is there for a reason and some people are just to blind to see it.
I used to think this was a lonely journey, life in general not just the mess of the 19 months.
I used to be able to stand in a room full of people and feel utterly alone and I hated that feeling.
95% of the time I don't feel like that anymore, some days yes, however I fight that feeling and no longer allow it to overtake me.
I am learning to utilize the gifts He has blessed me with, sharing them with the people I come in contact with, friends should benefit from that.
The more I walk on this journey, the less self-involved I become, the less self-involved I become, the more open I am to the people He is placing on my path, the more open I am to them, the more they know I am going to be there for them.
It took me a long time to realize that I was my greatest enemy, I was the one shutting myself off from the world and yes, there are still areas where I do that, however I am taking it one step at a time...
With the help of my friends.
MICHAEL W. SMITH
With The Faith And Love God's Given
Springing From The Hope We Know
We Will Pray The Joy You'll Live In
Is The Strength That Now You Show