Hear The Silence

"God Is Within Her, She Will Not Fall; God Will Help Her At Break Of Day"
Psalm 46:5

I came across this Bible verse last week, placed it as an entrance to a new post and of course life got in the way of my writing.

There never seems to be enough hours in the day to do everything I want to do.

The tug-of-war within me seems to be calming down, as long as I follow what He tells me, I am at peace.

My worldly desires are being replaced with heavenly desires, doors are closing left and right, while new and better ones are being open in their place.

I went to a dinner this past Friday, over at my Pastors' house with some of the missionary society ladies from Church.

I almost didn't go, however I am glad that I did...

A night with no men, no children, no worries, no stress, just fellowship and a chance to relax.

There were 11 of us and it was perfect...

At one point in the evening, I sat with my female Minister, our feet in the pool, deep in conversation about her calling (came about a year ago), my calling, some things that have been on her mind and some things that have been on mine.

I shared some things with her that I haven't voiced to anyone but our Heavenly Father and my friend G...

I knew I could trust her and she was able to help me put some things into better perspective.

After I returned home, I spent quite some time outside just talking to Him about some things that have been concerning me, things I hear, things I see, things that I have zero control over yet they still bother me, barriers that continue to be in my way and I just can't quite figure out how to climb over them, go around them nor get through them.

Flash-forward to yesterday, Sunday.

Happy to get to Church a few minutes early, said my hellos' to all I knew, took my place and just sat and basked in the semi-silence.

Church is one place where I can almost always drown out everything surrounding me and just concentrate on Him, how I am feeling at that moment, what He is saying etc...

Some days though, I can't quite reach that place, that perfect silence no matter what is going on around you.

Yesterday, I was able to reach it, though I did struggle at one point in time....

I could hear the piano, hear that chattering going on around me, hear the softness of the organ, however I was still able to reach that deeper level I was seeking.

I sat and pondered the prayer I had prayed the night before, the barriers I couldn't figure out how to remove, how I had asked Him for a sign, a word, an inspiration anything to help guide me through this.

Church began so I pulled my focus back to where it needed to be...

We went through the normal program and finally came to Altar call...

I was unsure if I was going to go up because I had spent part of the night and that morning as well praying the same thing, however I was reminded within that I should always take it to the Altar and leave it there.

So I went to the Altar, refocused back into the silence and started just talking to Him, I could hear my Pastor in front of me, guiding others to come and pray, give thanks etc...

I had to strain to "hear" the silence I was seeking, I kept losing my concentration, however pushed through until I found what I was looking for.

I was at the Altar for about 10 minutes and one of the last ones to get up from prayer however I don't think He cares how long I am there, as long as I bring it all to Him....

After Altar call my Pastor than does his sermon.

His sermon yesterday was based on Hebrews, chapters 11 and 12.

The 2 words that you will find repeating themselves upon reading these chapters is "By Faith" and than you will see what was done.

Upon closing his Bible, he then went into a sermon that blew me away.

A sermon about the race we are each running, each race is different for each individual.

The "Race of Faith and Obedience", the "Race of Conquering", the "Race of True Heroism" and the "Race of Endurance".

He proceeded to talk about people in Church who may know the Bible better than you, however they use it and twist it to fit whatever they are doing, they come in on Sundays' to "fill a square" so they can say "Yes, I went to Church", yet the minute they walk out the door, they go back to their "ways of man", people who are there just to bring others down so as to lift themselves up, people who think Church is a popularity contest and aren't there to glorify Him, rather they are there for themselves etc...

On and on he talked and I caught the eye of my female Minister who smiled brightly at me as she pointed in my direction.

You see, what he was saying right then and there, was what her and I were speaking of on Friday night.

He continued to talk for a bit about these "wolves in sheep's clothing", people who aren't necessarily bad however, they aren't good for you either, how you need to avoid them, pray for them, not let them get in the way of your walk with God and not let them bring you down...

As he says that, he looks directly at me, so I am of course thinking she must have said something to him about some certain people in Church.

He goes onto talk about barriers in your path, now here is where it gets interesting...

I never used that word with anyone - Not even G...

Just in my prayers to Him.

The "barriers" I speak of are different hurdles I just can't quite conquer, I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place.

The Pastor starts talking again about the "Race of Conquering" and how to walk around the barriers, how you need to continue to take everything to the Altar, how you need to leave the devil behind...

Leave him, leave her, leave your job, leave whatever it is that is keeping you from Him, leave them all with Him.

At the Altar you need to lay aside every weight and every sin.

He moves back to the "Race of Endurance" and how God has you in the situation you are in for a reason...

It is to teach you a lesson and you will continue to be there until the lesson is learned.

Patience will be taught to you as well, because once again this lesson will be learned on His time, not yours.

After service was over I went to my female Minister and asked her and before she answered, I knew what she was going to say - "No, I didn't say a word to anyone."

We hugged tightly and I knew what had just happened...

I was so very fortunate to witness a prayer, I had prayed, being answered directly from Him...

He used my Pastor as a vessel and took all the things I had brought to Him the night before and answered each thing I asked.

I went back to the Altar and found the silent place where I know He dwells within me...

There was no struggle this time for the silence, I could hear some people clearing out of the Church, however at that moment in time it was just Him and I....

My Father, living within me, showing me just exactly what He is willing to do for me to ease my fears, and His child, me, kneeling at His Altar, in His house, wrapped in His arms, as He catches each tear that falls, as I give my thanks for what He just did.

We've Seen Her Flying Torn And Tattered
We've Seen Her Stand The Test Of Time
And Through It All The Fools Have Fallen
There She Stands

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