SSS ~ What A Blessing!

"For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them."

Matthew 18:20 (NIV)

 

(First let me apologize for the sideward pictures... I could not get the rotated ones to save for some reason)

 

My package came almost a week and a half ago and I feel horrible it took me this long to get a post up. I was smack dab in the middle of finals and just could not squeeze anymore time out of my day, however, now I am on Winter Break (Thank you Lord!) so here is my (albeit) late post.

 

My Secret Santa lives in Texas.... Home of my beloved (though fiercely hated by some) Cowboys! I have not had a chance to do any digging so I truly have no idea who my SS is/was, I will say that whoever she is, she was indeed a blessing to me.

 

If you look sideways (ha ha again sorry) at the top left you will see w slip of paper with the word "joy" printed on the top, in the white is a portion of the song "Joy To The World." I love it! It is now hanging above my bed. Santa socks and touchscreen gloves... Shut up ~ I did not even know they made touchscreen gloves (Side note ~ I have an iPhone and DESPISE fingerprints so this is SO cool!)

 

 

Hot cocoa, my absolute fav as y'all know, complete with mini marshmallows ~ Yummy!

Butterfingers and white chocolate covered pretzels, along with cinnamon discs and spearmint discs... My SS must have known of my love for spearmint discs, if you look in my purse, you will see no less than about 50 of them on any given day. Don't judge, I like "good" smelling breath :)

 

2 books which I am so looking forward to reading over my break, one of which is a devotional to start on the 1st of January... I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE devotionals!

 

The tan cloth with the Crosses on it is (I sure hope so anyway) a scarf. Being that I sit in front of the congregation I always have a scarf to cover my girly bits (even though I wear long dresses/skirts/just to be safe). If it is not intended to be a scarf, please let me know lol!

 



 

The wooden Cross. Nestled under this Cross was a note from my SS.... Her Dad made this. Hand made.

 

I read the note and instantly I was in tears. This I hung in my room, immediately. It is in a place where it is the first sight I see when I get up, and the last one I see before I go to sleep. I touch it as I walk out the door and find myself lingering over the fact that it was hand made, and my SS willingly sent it to me. 

 

Had nothing else come in the box aside from the Cross, that still would have been the biggest blessing.

 

The note stated that she had a story for me (after the reveal). A story of how God always has a plan. I cannot wait to hear the story.

 

Another side note ~ Each item was individually wrapped so beautifully and as usual, I forgot my camera until after the fact (sorry!)

 

To Suzanne ~ Thank you for once again hosting the SSS. This has been (I think) my 4th year participating and the time and effort you put into it is appreciated and it is something I have looked forward to all year! You are a blessing!!

 

To my SS ~ I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You were a bright light in the middle of a stressful week. The thought and care you put into the package you sent me, went beyond my expectations. No matter how long I walk this road, I pray that He continues to surprise me in the ways that He shows His Grace. Whether by people I know, or people I have never met, in a song, or in a Scripture, in the clouds, or in the sunshine. No matter the trials, tribulations, circumstances, or emotions, I pray the same Grace showers upon you and your family. Please extend my deepest gratitude, a big hug, and speechless appreciation to your Dad.

 

Much Love.

 

"There In The Darkest Night Of The Soul
There In The Sweetest Songs Of Victory
Your Grace Finds Me
Yes Your Grace Finds Me"

MATT REDMAN

 

 

 

Changing Seasons

"So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you."

Romans 12:1-2 (the Message)

     
      I woke this morning at 6:30am and as I do every single morning I walked outside, checking to see what the weather is like. The anticipation of fall has been heavy in the air lately, however, it has still been unbelievably hot for the majority of the day, and we all know I do not like the heat.

      As the garage lifted up, I felt a breeze on my bare feet and then on my face as the garage came fully open... Happy! Happy! Joy! Joy! Autumn is here! A glorious 63 degrees greeted me and the foul mood I could feel hanging over me from the moment I got out of bed, disappeared.

     
      I adore the Fall season, every aspect of it. From pumpkin patches, to the leaves changing color. From shorter days, to chilly nights. I would be in Heaven if the weather stayed at 60 degrees year round, however like everything else in life, it is just a season. Here for a few months, and then gone until the next year.

      Everything changes and I have been brought to a place in my life where I am now realizing that any change can be a good thing. People say that some changes are good, and some changes are bad... I no longer believe this. I believe that every change is good.

      Whether it is used to grow your faith, used to slow you down, used as a reminder of what is most important, it really does not matter... What matter is your perspective.

     
      My life has changed immensely in the past four years and to be able to sit back and look over those years, I now know that I would not change a thing. People have come into my life for a season and then I have people who have come in and stayed. Whether here or gone, each of them brought something to my life, as well as to my walk. They may be unpleasant people to be around, however, I now look at it as a lesson, in what not to do with others in my life.

      I feel the season shifting in my life... For the past few months I could feel an undercurrent, yet I could not quite place my finger on it and to be honest, I still cannot name it. At the same time though I had a peace come over me tonight, that I am unable to put into words.

      As I stood outside this evening, feeling the cool air blow across my face, I could feel Him standing with me. Staring at the stars that were twinkling, no longer concerned about why I have been feeling foul for the past few days. And as the peace settled, I knew that I was right where He needed me to be.

      I know that life is not easy and I know that each of us faces trials and tribulations, and I am not going to sit here and state that all is going to be well... What I will state is that each of us has a Friend that is always there, always cares, and always has a helping hand extended to us... Change is never easy, but if you look at it with a different perspective, it can always be good.

You have all been missed so dearly and I pray all is well with each and every one of you!

 

DONALD LAWRENCE    

I Feel Seasons Everywhere,
And I Feel Blessings In The Air;
(Those Seeds That You've Sown),
(You're Gonna Come Into Your Own, Seasons),
Walk Into Your Seasons.

I Am Still Here

 

"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."

Galatians 6:9 (ESV)

 

 

 

 

I am still around and I am finally...

 

 

 

 

A.....

 

 

 

 

Wait for it.....

 

 

 

 

Almost.....

 

 

 

 

I know the suspense is intense.....

 

 

 

 

Tada.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

It has taken two years of non-stop school to get to this place and I can finally begin to see the light at the end of this tunnel. I know I do not post as much as I used to, but I am hoping that will change once I get into a groove of some sorts. I have so many things I want to share with you all, in the meantime though, I pray all is well with each one of you and hope to see you soon!


MERCYME ~ "Don't Give Up On Me

"Be Still I’ll Never Leave You
When You’re Far I Am Near
My Grace Will Always Be Greater
Than The Sum Of All Your Fears"

The Power of Temptation

"Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak."

                                                                  Matthew 26:41 (ESV)

 

 I know it has been over three months and for the few of you who are still here... Hello :) Still in school and once again back in the Ministerial Institute, along with work and life, I am a bit busy. I miss writing and I miss my peeps... Yes I said peeps, do not judge.

I could not get a single picture to load here, therefore I think this may be my first post without pictures. It is almost 1am here and while I should be sleeping, I have to get something off of my chest first, y'all know how I am.

My ex left in '09 and for those of you keeping track, I have had not a single date since. I have not been really "looking" either, figuring if it was something He wanted me to have, it would fall in my lap, cause I am blond and that is the way I see things sometimes. Most men I meet run when they hear minister, therefore I am getting used to it. However, a friend of mine and I decided to try the internet dating scene... First on a well known Christian site ~ Side note... If you say you are a Christian, why would you be offended if I ask what Church you go to? That site did not work out therefore we found another one to check out. I liked this one, and the men seemed "normal" as opposed to not so normal.

It is hard to "judge" by the internet because you are able to become whatever you want and meeting in person can be scary, due to the fact that you never know if the person is a potential serial killer. This is where I met him, and he did not run. He knew I was a minister and he also knew upfront he would never be first, He was.

Now if you go back through my blog, somewhere I posted my idea of a "perfect" man. Bald, goatee, tattoos, muscles, tall, and he has to smell good. He had it all, other than the fact that I did not get a chance to smell him. I was stunned, he was stunning, therefore I tried to justify my thoughts with what I saw as his "perfection."

Let me go back a few months. I read this trilogy that is/was extremely popular. I know, I know, not exactly "minister" reading, but when I laid the series down, I wanted my own "Christian Gray." If you have read the series you know exactly what I am referring to. The story underneath the fluff was beautiful, just the kind of man I wanted. One who was strong in what they believed, compassionate towards other people, monogamous, and passionate when it needed to count. One who did not cheat and one who did not set out to destroy others, in the pursuit of their own happiness. 

Back to him... We talked back and forth via the internet for a few days when it dawned on me that he was just like "Christian Gray." See that passage I posted at the top? "flesh is weak" is an understatement. I wanted what I wanted and I was ready to throw the past three years away, just to get what I desired. He was the desire and I am telling y'all I about lost my mind with weak flesh. I wanted nothing more than to jump in the car and have a face to face.

The pull of my flesh, versus the pull of my spirit was tearing me in two. Now a year ago, I would most likely have done it without a second thought, however my spirit is stronger now, than it was then. I tell you this for two reasons, one ~ no one is perfect. I have an idealization as to what a minister should look like, talk like, act like etc... The past couple weeks have shown me that while you can look at me on Sundays (or whenever I am with my Church) and know that I am a minister, I still struggle inside daily. There were things inside that I thought were dead and buried... With a stroke of his keyboard, he woke what I thought was lost.

The second reason I am writing this is to remind you that if you are being tempted, He will provide an out for you. 1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." Did I want the out? Not by a long shot, but I was also in some serious darkness that I was no longer comfortable wearing.

I am human and because He made me, I also crave other humans at times. Usually I am good on my own, barely speaking to people for most of the day, but this man... Showed me that the "desire for another" was still there. Was he perfect? No, none of us are. He may have been what I perceived as ideal, but was he ideal for me? Was he sent from Him? And the all important question ~ Would he dance in the rain with me? Only time will tell.

I had to take my out. I had to step back and away from him before I did something I would regret. Temptation is a very powerful thing and when temptation comes, it does not come in blaring like a loud trumpet, I find it comes in softly, like a gentle breeze. I woke up this morning angry... At myself for not "seeing" as I should have and for trying to force the hand of God in my life, at my ex for putting me in a position to start all over again, and at the enemy for dancing around the shadows of my life just for kicks and grins.

When you face trials and tribulations I think it is natural to "ice" the areas where you are vulnerable. Your heart, your trust, your openness, your love. You do not want to be hurt again, therefore you block those areas from seeing light. Fear keeps you bound in those chains. However, I do not want to live a life of fear. I do not want to wear a cloak of darkness. I want joy and sunshine and light. I want to trust and be open, to love and to share my heart. However, it has to be on His terms.

Everyone falters, everyone falls, and everyone fails, at some point in their life. The question is how do you respond to it? I write and now that I have put it down, I feel better about the situation. You never can know what the Lord has in store for you, and this is a lesson that He is teaching me.

God bless you!

MATTHEW WEST
I Am No Longer Defined
By All The Wreckage Behind
The One Who Makes All Things New
Has Proven It's True, Take A Look Ay Like 

48 Things About Me

Hello all ~
 
      I was catching up on my favorite bloggers this evening and came across this one... I enjoyed reading it that I thought it would be fun to do.... Plus I am just too lazy to write a whole new post.  :)
 
Many Blessings!
 

48 Things About Me

This was borrowed from Nikki

 

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

 

     Not to my knowledge 

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

 

     I would have to say last week. Church has that affect on me. 

3 DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?

 

     I actually do. 

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?

 

     Boar's Head deluxe and and cracked peppermill turkey. I could eat this combo everyday!

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

 

     2 boys, Eeyore is 17 and Tigger is 9 

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?

 

     I am not sure. It takes an awful long time to "get in" since I do not trust people the way I used to, however, once you are "in" you are golden.  

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?

 

     I really and truly try hard not too, but there are days when I do (I am sad to admit that). 

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?

     Yes, sure do.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?

 

     I would love to try it at least one time.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?

 

     I am on a health kick lately so I eat Total Raisin Bran daily..... My favorite though is Cocoa Pebbles or Lucky Charms.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?

     Yes I do

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?

     I think that I have learned I am stronger than I ever thought I was.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?

     Mint Chocolate Chip ~ Only from Baskin Robbins

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

     Eyebrows ~ Do not ask me why, but I always look at eyebrows first.

15. RED OR PINK?

     Red ~ Never pink, ever.

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?

     I am going to take Nikki's answer as my own . "That I am hard to get to know in real person. I wish I was so much more easygoing. In my mind I am SO easygoing but it doesn't seem to match my behavior, and I hate that." In my mind I am fearless.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?

     A year ago I would have had a different answer, however, today I would have to say my mentor, Rev. M. He was placed in his own Church a couple of months ago, a couple of hours away, and while I can still talk to him, it isn't the same as seeing him.

18. WHAT IS THE TECHNIQUE THAT YOU NEED TO WORK ON THE MOST?

     My confidence

19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?

     Brown slippers with monkey faces on each one :) :) 

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?

     Stuffed baked potato.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?

     Tigger is snoring and the cat is purring. 

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?

     Plum

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?

     Puppy breath (Don't laugh, it is a great scent), bread baking, babies after a bath, a good cologne on a man (just the hint of it when he walks by).

24. HOW IMPORTANT ARE YOUR POLITICAL VIEWS TO YOU?

     They wouldn't be important to me if they weren't my own.

25. MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY OR BEACH HOUSE?

     Both ~ Depends on the season

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?

 

     NFL ~ Dallas Cowboys!

27. HAIR COLOR?

     Born a blond and I am now multi-toned ~ Several shades of blond and one jet-black streak underneath.

28. EYE COLOR?

     Blue 

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?

     No, not in this lifetime... I can not bring myself to touch my eye.

30. FAVORITE FOOD?

     Sandwiches ~ I could eat one for every meal, especially if the sandwich comes from the deli at Publix.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

     Both ~ Depends on my mood.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?

      I went and saw Identity Thief last night actually ~ That was so worth the cost of a night-time movie! I laughed until I thought I was going to wet myself. :)

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?

      Teal Blue

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?

     Always Autumn

35. FAVORITE DESSERT?

     Not a huge dessert fan ~ I like cake w/o the icing, brownies if they are just out of the oven, and I will eat ice cream in the Winter months only. 

36. STRENGTH TRAINING OR CARDIO?

     LOL ~ Have we met?

37. COMPUTER OR TELEVISION?

     I am on the computer more than anything.

38. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?

     "I Am Second"

39. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?

     Nikki ~ I still have a mouse pad LOL ~ Plain black one

40. FAVORITE SOUND?

     Gentle rain falling

41. FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC?

     Christian is what I listen to 99% of the time.

42. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?

     Military brat so I have traveled all over the world. Been to Europe, Asia, and 46 out of 50 states.

43. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?

      I am not sure.

44. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

     Tampa, Florida

45. WHERE ARE YOU LIVING NOW?

     Northwest Florida

46. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HOUSE?

     Reddish Brick

47. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR?

     Don't have a car :)

48. DO YOU LIKE ANSWERING 48 QUESTIONS?

     It was a nice break from studying :) :) :)

Wasn't that fun?? Don't you wanna join in? If you do, let me know because I'd love to read them.

Don't ask me why the background colors are doing their own thing. I tried and tried to fix it and just gave up lol. 

 

Reckless

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit."

2 Corinthians 3:17-18 (ESV)

 

Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and any other holiday that I have forgotten! :) That had to be the longest "Day of Silence" (see post below) ever.

I am still alive. :)

Let me bring you up to date: I just started my Junior year (one week ago today), I am meandering through with a "B" average (darn that History and Algebra ~ C in both classes and I will NEVER understand why I need Algebra to preach HA!) , the boys are great ~ Eyeore has been visiting recently and I am thrilled with the change in his heart, Tigger is still Tigger ~ An endless ball of energy!

The holidays were good, though right after Christmas, I came down with the flu.... The (I think I should wish for) DEATH FLU... Every. Single. Part. Of. My. Body. HURT. From the top of my head, to the souls of my feet... The hurt where you just want to lay on your back and not breathe... I swear I could feel the hair on my legs grow, as I laid there thinking that the Angel of Death was hovering directly over my bed. I am so getting a flu shot next year! This is 2 years in a row that I got it and quite frankly I do not want it ever again. It has been 2 weeks and I am just now feeling about 95% normal, though I still have the cough ~ Blech.

As I read back on some of my older posts for the beginning of a new year, I noticed that I have prayed for/received a single word for the new year. In the past years I have received "trust" and "patience," this year the word He gave me is "reckless."

Once I had the word, I started noticing it everywhere, that is how I know I am on the right path.

In the dictionary, the word reckless is defined as "utterly unconcerned about the consequences of some action; without caution; careless."

Say what???

Come again???

See in my mind, I have a clear picture of what a Minister is supposed to look like, speak like, walk like, live like etc... The very definition of reckless is the COMPLETE opposite, of the picture my mind paints.

Reckless describes the way I used to live so long ago, it describes the way I disregarded my very life when I allowed myself to make numerous, very unfortunate decisions growing up. It is a 180 from what I am today.

So I thought long and hard about this word, how I could incorporate this into my daily life.

Look at the first part of the definition ~ "utterly unconcerned about the consequences of some action"

Utterly unconcerned by what others may think about my worship, my love, my faith, my praise, etc... My love for Him has got to be reckless, otherwise I run the risk of conforming to what others think I should be; from the way I dress, to the way I preach.

Look at the second part of the definition ~ "without caution"

To follow Him has got to be without caution, to not hold anything back due to fear, or circumstance, or doubt.

Third part ~ "careless"

Careless is also another word for unconcerned, therefore, go back to what I wrote for the first part.

I want my life to be reckless and unabashed when it comes to the way I follow Him. I want to get to the point where I do not care (I say that nicely) what others may think. I pray that I am reckless to the point that others see Him, before they even see me.

Do you have a word for the year?

Many blessings!

JEREMY CAMP
Everytime I Try To Play It Safe
Holding Back Just A Little Part Of Me
I Find Myself Forgetting What
I Say That I Believe