Through The Eyes Of My Disappointment

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."

Romans 8:28 (ESV)

It was almost 1am, my body was screaming that it was beyond time for rest, yet there I sat, backstage, filled with hopeful anticipation.

Like a child waiting for the break of dawn to light up the morning sky on Christmas, I wiggled around in my seat, only to hear the words, "He has already left the building."

NOOOOOO...

Tears burned behind my eyes, I held steadfast, refusing to let them fall, as I quickly came to terms with the situation, I was not going to meet him... Not today anyway.

Disappointment flooded me to the very core of my soul. At that moment in time, I could not remember ever being so disappointed, with something so seemingly small.

I sat along the wall in the dressing room of one of the band members... The. Dressing. Room. Of. One. Of. The. Band. Members. In. Creed.

My all-time favorite band in the world and I could no longer even catch a glimmer of excitement from within.

Isn't that how disappointment usually sets in?

You have a certain expectation of someone, they do not live up to the hype that you have surrounded them with, and BAM, you are left with nothing but your hollow day dreams.

I counted down the days for over a month, had the perfect outfit picked layed out, it was a good hair day, drove about an hour or so, ate dinner to kill time between being there early, and the actual time the concert started.

We met the same band member (whose dressing room I was hanging in) mentioned above, prior to the concert.

We all chatted for a few and then he handed us 4 tickets and 4 VIP backstage passes... I could have burst with happiness when one was laid in my hand.

The concert itself was terrific. :)

The first band to open was a New Zealand band called, "Like A Storm" and they were absolutely wonderful. After they were done on stage, they mingled around the concession stands, having their pictures taken, signing autographs, and just acting like a bunch of normal guys. I took some pictures of my Mom with the lead singer Chris, and the guitarist Matt (brothers). Very sweet guys.

Sidenote ~ The men from New Zealand are simply stunning. Mental note to plan a vacation there someday ~ End of sidenote :)))

The second band was "Eve to Adam" and they were good as well. Not exactly my taste in music, however, I try to appreciate all kinds of music. I did not see any of the band members once they were done, therefore I cannot comment on how they were around the "common folk." HaHa

Then it was time for the reason I came ~ Creed

Just like the last time I saw them, they were magnificent. They played old songs and new songs, keeping the audience out of their seats for the duration of the show.

Which brings me back to sitting in the dressing room of B, (if you know Creed, you will know whose room I was in) clutching a new shirt, in the hopes of it being signed by Scott.

As the disappointment settled in, I glanced around to see a room filled to the brim with people. I looked over to see B and caught his eye, he just smiled sadly, because he knew what this moment would have meant to me, he knew that I came with the expectation to see/meet/ Scott, and he also knew that it was not going to happen.

He is the one who told me, Scott had left.

You know who else knew? God knew... He knew that in that moment I was placing someone else before Him, and as His daughter, He was going to do whatever He could, to take my eyes off of meeting Scott and place them back on Him.

So as I sat there I began to look for a lesson, because I knew that this was going to be a teaching moment for Him, and a learning moment for me.

I pushed the disappointment down and watched...

I watched B, so very tired from the traveling and the performing, almost to the point of being weary, and I saw what God was trying to show me...

A lesson in humility.

I knew prior to the concert he was tired, it showed on his face and there was a strain in his voice.

Yet as I watched him, the people who came to him would have never known. You see he met each and every single person that came backstage. He shook hands, he took pictures, he hugged, he smiled, and he signed everything that was thrust at him.

Never once complaining, never once putting on a "diva-like cloak," never once putting someone off, never once acting like he was better than anyone, who walked through that door.

Humbleness is not something I have struggled with, however, I have to make a conscious effort to not allow my head to become inflated, especially after I preach a sermon.

When I step down from the pulpit, the only thing I want to do is find a room where there is not another living soul in it, just so I can "be" for a few minutes. However, once the service is over, people come to you. They tell you your sermon was wonderful, there are hugs, tears, laughter, and joy...

If one is not careful, that can go to their head very quick-like.

Because this is an area where I am very aware that it can happen in an instant, God used B to show me a picture of humbleness.

No matter how big his name is, no matter how many people he performs in front of, no matter how popular his band is, he knows that he is no better, nor worse, then the next person.

Neither am I.

No I did not get to meet Scott Stapp, however, I took something away from that night that is irreplaceable...

Through the eyes of my disappointment, God showed me how I am to live and treat each person, He places in my path.

CREED
In This Life That I Live
I Hope I Can Give Love Unselfishly
I've Learned The World Is Bigger Than Me
You're My Daily Dose Of Reality