How Will They Remember Me?

"Have I Not Commanded You? Be Strong And Courageous. Do Not Be Frightened, And Do Not Be Dismayed, For The LORD Your God Is With You Wherever You Go." Joshua 1:9 (ESV)

I should be doing homework, however I couldn't concentrate on the task at hand.

I kept hearing the word legacy in my head and each time I concentrated on it, I knew a post was brewing, I also know once a post is brewing, I have to write it before I can do anything else.

I was content to just be a good wife, daughter, mother etc...

However that isn't a legacy.

It also isn't how many degrees or awards you have on your wall, nor how many trophies you have in your curio cabinet, it isn't how many rings you have won in the Superbowl nor how many belts you won in the wrestling ring.

Legacy is defined as; Anything handed down from the past, as from an ancestor or predecessor.

If you were to die right now, what would you be leaving behind?

For people He placed in my path?

For the boys He trusted into the care of their father and myself?

For the family members I see on a day to day basis?

How will they remember me?

I used to seek praise from those around me, to let me know that they were happy with what I was doing, what I had done, how I did it etc...

How will they remember me?

I used to do everything in my power to not leave a "mark" on those around me, content to sit in the shadows of whomever I was around, happy to be the girl whose name no one could ever remember.

How will they remember me?

I will never forget the day, not long after he left, I had a revelation that took my breath away...

My tombstone wouldn't say "beloved wife" on it, small perhaps to some, but at the time it was a huge deal to me and it just broke my heart even more.

In my warped way of thinking, he was the end all, be all, of my legacy - My life as it was, while I was married.

Thanks be to God, I no longer think that way.

If I stop and truly think about it, that wasn't my life either, at least not all of it.

I allowed myself to be what anyone else wanted me to be, only because I didn't know who I was anymore.

I had a purpose being his wife, their mom, their daughter, their aunt, niece, cousin etc...

Anything but being what He wanted me to be.

While I still have the majority of those "titles" to call on, they aren't my purpose.

I have a divine purpose and I also know that how they will remember me, will be something He will help me with.

I want to teach my boys to call on Him first, not last.

I want them to know how to pray and never teach them it is something you do in private, nor is it ever something to be ashamed of.

I want them to know pure joy, in the midst of absolute pain.

I want them to know that no matter what you lose, it is just material and can be replaced with Something that is so much greater than anything in this world.

I want them to experience the all consuming Love that no one on this face of this Earth, can give them.

I want them to raise their hands in praise, stand in Church when the Spirit moves them, and weep for utter peace when it comes over them.

I pray He guides each and every step I take and that I am completely encamped by Him and His angels as I teach them and guide them.

I want them to be blessed with a Pastor who has patience, compassion and love, just as I have been blessed.

I want to show them what it is to be blessed with Godly friends whose outstretched hand you see, before you even hit the floor, just as I have been.

I want to show them how to be that kind of friend, just in case.

I want them to know that the best Friend they will ever have, is not of this world, yet He is just a whisper away.

That is how I want my boys to remember me.

That I pointed you to Him, more than I pointed to myself.

That I call on His name first, long before I call on you.

That we shared more smiles, than tears.

That there were more hugs, than cold shoulders.

That there was always an opportunity for a silent walk on the beach, with a friend.

That we always remember, "For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them." Matthew 18:20 

That we use each experience He gives us, as a lesson to be learned.

That we guide one another on how to be kind, gentle, compassionate, empathetic, humble, and loving.

That is how I want to be remembered by those He placed in my path.

As for seeking the outward praise I spoke about earlier, the only thing I want to hear is;

"...Well done, good and faithful servant" Matthew 25:23

JEREMY RIDDLE
You've Called Me Out Of Death.
You've Called Me Into Life.
And I Was Under Your Wrath,
Now Through The Cross, I'm Reconciled