The Darkness

THE CHILD IN THE DARKNESS IS FEARED BY THOSE IN THE LIGHT

"As The Child Slips Into The Darkness

For She Shall Never Return

But She Shall Learn To Walk

Stand On Her Own Two Feet

To Face The Fear, Hatred And Pain

For She Shall Overcome All That Has Been Done

And Be Greater Then All That Has Been Given."

You go through life believing what you are taught...

As a child, you are guided by your parents, as a teenager, you are lead by your peers, as a young adult, you struggle to find your place.

As a full grown adult some people made it through easier then others.

I always believed I was more "dark" then "light"...

I always believed I would be trapped by my darkness because I didn't know any other way...

Then one day I woke up and could see a pinpoint of light, faraway in the darkness...


The light was calming within my turmoil...

Calling me to follow...

Guiding me towards the gentle love being offered...

I wanted to go to that light however "worthiness of what I have to offer" wouldn't allow me to.


So faraway yet so close I could almost reach out and touch it...

Everyday the light came a little closer and everyday, the fear became a little smaller...

Each day that passed I wanted to climb out of the darkness surrounding me however was I worthy?

Was I worthy of receiving that light?


The light comes closer and I can see it is not just one light but many different lights...

Different shades of brightness coming from all who are surrounded by me...

Some lights are so bright they are absolutely blinding and I can't be around those lights...

They are so bright they are toxic...The light pierces your soul and wants to suck every bit of your life force.

The toxicity of the bearers of that light will get in if allowed and you will become lost...

You will become what they want you to be...

No longer existing as your whole self...

Just something someone wants you to be.


The other lights... Loving - Gentle - Calm

God's Light is the absolute brightest light there is...Not blinding - Just full of Love, Peace, Hope, and Joy.

I need His Light to find my way - His Light shows me where He wants me to be.

True friends have a calming light...

Their light is shining down on your path, gently guiding you...

Showing you what "pieces" to keep and which to toss...

Someone close to my heart told me last night, I was more then "worthy" -

Those words and their light mean so much to me and no matter from this day forward what I say, I will never, ever have the words to put into meaning just how much that sentence meant to me.


THIRD DAY
I Know That You Are Holding All The Answers
I'm Tired Of Losing Hope And Taking Chances
On Roads That Never Seem
To Be The Ones That Bring Me Home

A Puzzle

Dear Friends, Do Not Be Surprised At The Painful Trial You Are Suffering, As Though Something Strange Were Happening To You.

But Rejoice That You Participate In The Sufferings Of Christ So That You May Be Overjoyed When His Glory Is Revealed.

1 Peter 4: 12-13

A shattered life is like a puzzle that has been scattered all over the floor.

The winds of change have come in and strewn the pieces all over the place.

You stand in the center wondering where you even begin to put the pieces back together.

Which pieces of that puzzle do you want to keep?

The pieces of your old life will never be the same...

The pieces of that puzzle will never fit like they did before...

So you have a marvelous opportunity to actually begin anew...

Which pieces are you going to keep and which ones are you going to destroy?

I am keeping certain pieces...My Belief in God, Faith, hope, dignity, values, morals, hard earned self-respect, joy, patience, strength, determination, empathy, mental clarity, confidence, inner peace.

I am doing away with other pieces...Torment, guilt, worry, pain, second guessing, selfishness, self-hatred, bitterness, anger, self-injury, chaos, fear, doubt.

I am adding new pieces...Forgiveness, unconditional love, freedom, grace, courage, the chance to live as me, guided by Him, thankfulness in all that is offered to me, belief in myself, a long forgotten smile on my face and absolute happiness in my heart...

My puzzle isn't done...It is still rocky where I would rather have smooth...Some pieces don't fit yet and others still have to find their way out of the puzzle...There are still some holes...The holes are there for my blessings...I know He will fill every one of them with whatever He has in store for me...

So given the chance, which pieces will you keep and which pieces will you destroy once and for all?


FRANCESCA BATTISTELLI
Like Sunlight Burning At Midnight
Making My Life Something So
Beautiful, Beautiful
Mercy Reaching To Save Me
All That I Need

A Gift...

The Lord Gives Strength To His People; The Lord Blesses His People With Peace.

Psalm 29:11

A gift from God can be determined in how you look at it...

The leaves changing in the fall...

The smile on your child's' face...

A little extra money that month...

Blueberry pancakes, puppy dogs & ice cream...

A full moon on a clear night...

A smile from a stranger...

A perfect white rose...

The smell of baking bread...

These are all gifts you can see & touch...


What about the gifts you can only feel?

Heartache, pain, turmoil, confusion, fear, anger, worry and doubt...

These aren't gifts from Him...

These are designed to bring you down and keep you down...

I have been down for so long...

I have had good days and awful days where I didn't want to even take a breath...

I didn't want to get out of bed for fear of what the day had in store...

I didn't want to go through my life scared...

I wanted to be me...

I wanted to be accepted for me...

No masks, no games.



Over the many months that have past, some things inside me have changed...

Questions have been swirling that I haven't voiced...

Confusion has played a major part of my thinking...

What does He want me to do?

What do I want to do?

Who am I?

The people around me have always defined me...Mom, wife, daughter, aunt, sister...

However I couldn't find "me"

Until recently...

The changes that are happening within me are captivating and glorious...

I am finding happiness...

I am finding peace...

I am finding acceptance...

I am finding me again and I am starting to like what I see...

The feelings are so new to me...

Exhilarating...

I feel like I am 20 years old again...

I want to skip down the street...

I want to dance in the rain...

I want to live again and He has given me that...

My most precious gift...Me - Whole again.

MATT MAHER
Broke Through My Deafness
Now I'm Breathing In And Breathing Out
I'm Alive Again
You Shattered My Darkness

Blind Faith

Be On Your Guard; Stand Firm In The Faith; Be Men Of Courage; Be Strong; Do Everything In Love.

1 Corinthians 16:13-14

One of my BFs' Nikki asked me last week if there was such a thing as blind faith...

I didn't personally know the difference and since I am always up for learning something new, I have been doing some research for the past few days...

So thank you Nikki for the challenge and below is the difference between Faith and Blind Faith...

(((Hugs))) my friend.

Faith is belief with strong conviction...

Faith is doubt-free...

Faith is positivity...

Faith is peace...

For example, when you are at lunch and you pop open your soda, you raise it to your lips and as it enters your mouth, you have "faith" that what is going to come out of that can is what the side of the can says.

If you are in a car accident, you are putting "faith" in the manufacturer that your air bag will be deployed upon impact.

If you go through the drive-thru pharmacy, you are putting "faith" in the tech to get your medications correct...

Same at the bank, the dry-cleaner, the grocery store etc...

Each and every single day we all put our "faith" in someone else's hands.

With faith you have some assurance that the things will work out as you believe them to.

Faith within Christianity is to trust in the Word of God...

The opposite of Faith is doubt and doubt will not allow anyone to completely trust in God...

Faith is not believing God can - It is knowing He will.

I blogged about this about a week ago - The day with the crazy radio station that would only come in when a certain song was on - To me that is a sign...

A sign I need to stop and pay attention...

The signs are there because of my Faith.

Kutless (when you have a chance, read the words on this video)

Blind faith is faith without evidence...

The definition of Blind faith is belief without true understanding, perception or discrimination...

Christianity doesn't call for blind faith...

God gives us brains for a reason and I am pretty sure it isn't for us not to use them...

I think when I started this journey, I was going in on blind faith...

I hadn't darkened the door of a Church in over 20 years and I was struggling with my Faith walk using what I had learned so long ago...

I didn't have the tools to make the journey alone...

As the time passes my blind faith turned to complete Faith...

The more I learn, the more my Faith grows, the more my Faith grows the more I believe, the more I believe, the easier it is for me to turn every aspect of my life completely over to Him...

The more I turn over to Him, the easier it is for me to "hear" Him, to "see" Him, to "feel" Him...

My signs get brighter with each one that is sent to me and it gets easier for me to stop right then and there and say "Thank You"...

I know people look for huge neon flashing lights when they are looking for a sign from God however it isn't always going to be like that...

Yes I have had signs that were absolutely huge and I have also had signs that others may not think would be a sign...

Someone adding a person to their prayer circle for me so I have one more prayer warrier out in the world praying for me and my family...

An unexpected gift from a fellow blogger friend filled with kind loving words...

A rainbow on a day when I need to just know He is right there...

I have my cardinal that comes around every few weeks...

Still when I need it the most...

This past weekend, I had 2 in the yard...

I haven't ever seen 2 together in the yard before...

A sermon from my beloved Pastor with just the right words and the perfect Bible verse to get me through the week...

A friend letting me know they thought of me this weekend...

Help from a friend in writing part of this post because I got stuck...

In my eyes every one of you is in my life for a purpose and I thank God for that each and every night.

JEREMY CAMP

Well I Will Walk By Faith

Even When I Cannot See

Well Because This Broken Road

Prepares Your Will For Me

Hebrews 11:1

"Now Faith Is Being Sure Of What We Hope For And Certain Of What We Do Not See."

I get asked a lot "How can you be so strong"? I want to reply I am not any stronger then the next person...

I have really bad days and I have really good days and some days that are just in-between...

The difference you may see is I have Faith regardless of the circumstances surrounding me...


The definition of Faith is as follows -

Belief and trust in and loyalty to God; Firm belief in something for which there is no proof; Complete trust...


I have complete and absolute Faith in Him that my marriage will be restored...

I have no proof of this and quite frankly if I went by the way my husband talks, we are going to be divorced any day now however I know His promises for me...

I know that if you ask and believe, it shall be yours...

I used to pray for Him to please send my husband home before any additional damage was done...

Now I just pray for His will in my marriage and in my life.




Some of you may be reading this and thinking - "This chick is a whack-job" or maybe thinking I am "Setting myself up for failure"...

No worries if you are because I hear it at least once a day in my "real life" and I won't hold it against you...

As I stated to someone close to me yesterday when this conversation came up once again for the 37th billion time...

I was told that I needed to move on and divorce him, to which I replied -

That is your opinion, the fact is it isn't going to happen...

Your delusional I was told, no I stated, I believe.

I believe in the promise of the Word...

I believe in Him and all He represents...

I have complete and utter trust that whatever is going on where I can't see, it is for the bettering of me and my life.

You can't pick and choose what you believe in, what you have Faith in...

If you have Faith in Him, you don't need anything else.



CHASEN
I Tried My Way
It Always Ends Up Being A Mistake
But You're Right When You Say
That You Set The Time For The Plans You Make
I Never Thought That I Could Ever Learn To Let It Go
Somehow It's Better When I Follow In The Paths You Show
So I'm Here I'm Waiting Cause I Believe