Music Soothes & Heals

"For His Anger Lasts Only A Moment, But His Favor Lasts A Lifetime; Weeping May Remain For A Night, But Rejoicing Comes In The Morning."

Psalm 30:5



Just like my lack of patience is well known, so is my love of music.

Next to reading, I would rank listening to music up there in my top 5.

I have a broad range of musical likes, I have never just stuck with one genre, never leaning to just rock or just metal or just Christian, if I like it, I listen to it.

Sometimes it is Opera, sometimes it is Classical, sometimes it is 80's and sometimes it is Hard Rock...

Depends on the mood I am in mostly.

Country, not a fan, however there are a couple of artists I will listen to....

I don't really listen to Top 40 either.

These days I lean more towards music that has the ability to encourage and uplift, songs of worship and praise and love and hope.

I am discovering new faves, so many new ones I couldn't possibly list them all here, though I try to use them in my song snippet at the end of every post and if your speakers are on when you come here, you can hear some of them as well.

Y'all know the story of how I came to find KLOVE and I still listen to them any chance I get, usually at work because I still can't get them to come in at home.

Michael W. Smith is still my all time favorite Christian musician, I have been listening to him for over 20 years and he can still bring me to tears.

Out of all the songs he sings, "Kentucky Rose" is still my favorite.

Most people know him by "Friends" and while that is a great song, I am here to tell you he has so many other great ones you should check out.

"I Will Carry You" breaks me down each and every time, "I Know Your Name" is very special to me because back when I first started this walk, someone sent it to me anonymously, when I felt so lost and alone and scared and really doubted He cared, and then there is "Straight To The Heart", a song that has special meaning to me due to a very close friend who has stood by my side as I started this journey, one who is there, no matter what.

Within the past 6 months I have been introduced to a few other Christian artists that have moved me and I want to share a few with you.

Some of them you all may know, some of them you may not, some of you listen to them on a daily basis and maybe, for some of you, this will be your first time.

Some of these songs may bring you to tears, some might just bring you to Him for the first time, some may bring you closer.

Some will open your eyes and humble you, some will make you question what in the world you are doing with your life, some will make you want to raise your hands and just say "Thank You".

So sit back, grab a cup of coffee, some tissues, pick a link and enjoy what He has given us.

Jeremy Camp - "Overcome"

Tenth Avenue North - "By Your Side" (I need tissues for this one)

Chris Tomlin - "I Will Rise" (Tears fall for this one as well)

MercyMe - "Bring The Rain"

David Crowder Band - "How He Loves" (Yes, this one as well)

Phillips, Craig and Dean - "Revelation Song"

Mark Schultz - "He Will Carry Me" (Yep)

Pocket Full Of Rocks - "Come As You Are" (This one also)

Third Day - "Cry Out To Jesus" (Tear fest right here)

Toby Mac - "Gone"

Stryper - "Alive"

Phil Wickham (Feat. Bart Millard) - "Safe" (Here as well)

Mikeschair - "Let The Waters Rise"

Kutless - "What Faith Can Do" (The song that He used to bring me to KLOVE)

Casting Crowns - "East To West" (Gracie, always reminds me of the verse you gave me so long ago)

Bebo Norman - "A Million Raindrops"

These are just a few I listen to on a daily basis...

Music to me is a wonderful gift from Him.

It has a way of working into the very depths of my soul and moving me in ways that I can't express.

I used to listen to music to keep the flame of anger burning brightly inside of me, it fueled the hate I carried within, hate for myself, for my past, for my choices, for my mistakes, for my sins.

Music filled with foul language, thoughts of suicide, murder, bitterness, pure hate music and I loved it I will admit.

However, it has no place now in my life, as I try to complete the 180 that has become my life, I need the encouragement these artists sing about....

Another blessing that I wasn't seeking, however it still found its way to me.

That brings me to Matthew West.

I heard him first on KLOVE, liked him on FB, downloaded a few songs and truly loved all I heard from him.

One morning, I saw a FB message about the new album he was going to be doing, however unlike a "normal" CD, he asked his fans for their story...

I contemplated it, I thought long and hard about it and I entered my story.

He spent 2 months in a cabin reading story after story about things most people don't want to even admit go on in our society.

The album was released under the title "The Story Of Your Life".

I have had the chance to hear most of the CD and it is beautiful, however yesterday as I was driving, a new song came on KLOVE...

"Broken Girl" was the song...

I knew then he got it, he understood what I felt, at that time, as well as at this time.

I ended up having to pull over because I burst into tears, at this time I can't listen to the song without crying, without that tightness pulling in my chest, without that little girl inside of me running to the corner, hiding.

The good thing?

Healing has begun.

MATTHEW WEST
Those Pictures In Your Mind, Keep You
Locked Up Inside Your Past.
This Is A Song For The Broken Girl.
The One Pushed Aside By The Cold, Cold World
You Are, Hear Me When I Say,
You're Not The Worthless They Made You Feel
There Is A Love They Can Never Steal Away
And You Don't Have To Stay A Broken Girl

Go On, Confuse Him

"From The Rising Of The Sun Unto The Going Down Of The Same The Lord's Name Is To Be Praised."

Psalm 113:3

One of the songs that our choir sung on Sunday has gotten me to do some serious thinking.

The song is "Praise Him In Advance" by Marvin Sapp, go watch the video, truly listen to the words and I will wait for you.

Welcome back.

The best line in that song, in my opinion is - "Praise will confuse the enemy."

5 little words with a very powerful meaning behind them.

What is praise to you?

Praise is defined as: "Offering words of homage as an act of worship", there is, of course, numerous other meanings, however they don't apply here.

Praise is the voice of your Faith.

So what do you think the songwriter was thinking when he wrote these words?

Do you think he meant wait until the dust has settled and then Praise God for your victory?

No, he meant you praise Him now, in the midst of your trials and tribulations, before the victory.

When you pray, and you truly believe that not only is He listening, He is also hearing your prayers, that is when you praise Him.

Before you see the victory.

That will confuse the mess out of the enemy.

To see you down on your knees, weeping perhaps, angry possibly, broken most likely, yet there you are thanking Him, worshiping Him and praising Him.

Trusting Him that you will win the victory by His mercy and grace.

I was reminded by a dear friend last night that the journey we are taking is a lesson in trust.

Not trust in one another per se, but ultimately being able to just trust in Him.

To know that whatever we are facing in our lives, is for a reason, a chance to glorify His name.

A chance to learn how to confuse the enemy.
 

MARVIN SAPP
I've Had My Share Of Ups And Downs
Times When There Was No One Around
God Came And Spoke These Words To Me
Praise Will Confuse The Enemy

Child's Play

"Consider It Pure Joy, My Brothers, Whenever You Face Trials Of Many Kinds, Because You Know The Testing Of Your Faith Develops Perserverance."

James 1:2-3

Remember this song from your early years?

"The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout.
Down came the rain, and washed the spider out.
Out came the sun, and dried up all the rain.
So the itsy bitsy spider climbed up the spout again."

Now you are probably sitting there wondering what in the world this has to do with my journey with Him.

Or possibly thinking I have finally lost all my marbles. :)

Let me assure you, it does have to do with my walk and my marbles are still in tact.

The itsy bitsy spider is you (and I), the water spout is whatever you are facing/trying to overcome, the rain is Satan and the sun is, of course, the Lord.

See, while you are busy trying to overcome whatever obstacles that are in your way, Satan is going to come in and throw up many more obstacles.

He doesn't care that you are emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually tired, the enemy of your soul wants you broken down like that,  it makes his job much easier.

The seeds that he plants can take root faster when you are spiritually broken down, worry, fear, confusion, doubt etc...

All things he plants within your mind.

If you are "right" spiritually, it takes longer (if at all) for these seeds to grow

When the rain comes (and it will come, no matter who you are or where you are on your walk) and washes you out, you need to call on Him, the Son, to dry the rain out.

It doesn't matter where you are, it doesn't matter what your spout is, He is standing right there waiting for you to call.

The thought brings tears to my eyes each time, no matter how many times I fall, no matter how many times I fail, He is still standing right beside me, waiting for me to ask Him to help me.

It doesn't matter where I am standing, sitting or laying, He stays right by my side.

No matter how many times I am washed out by Satan, the Son is always going to wash away the rain, He will always bring the sun out, so I can continue my climb back up the water spout.

MATTHEW WEST

Did You Hear What I Said?

Did You Read The Words I Wrote Down In Red?

I Was Broken Once For You

And No One Loves You Like I Do

The Storm Before The Calm

"Come To Me, All You Who Are Weary And Burdened, And I Will Give You Rest."

Matthew 11:28

Anytime I feel myself becoming overwhelmed, the above verse never fails to pop in my head.

Back when I first joined the Church, I had 6 weeks of new members class and towards the end, the Pastor taught one of the classes and asked each of us to pick a favorite verse, read it and explain why you chose that one.

This was the one I picked, because I was so very weary and highly burdened, it spoke volumes to me.

I needed that rest He was promising back then and I need it still today.

However sometimes, I don't have the patience (imagine that) to wait, I want answers and results now, not later.

I want the sadness to fade, the confusion to subside, the pain to lesson, the darkness to give way to His light.

I want my life back, with or without the man I married, I want my sense of peace back.

I don't want to feel my heart skip a beat each time there is a knock at the door, fearful it is the process server that husband has been threatening me with for so long.

I don't want to have anymore dreams about "happily ever after" only to once again, wake up and see what faces me in the morning.

I don't want to hear the catch in Tigger's voice when he prays and asks God to bring his Dad home.

I know that trials and tribulations are here to test my Faith, I also know that they will produce endurance as well as perseverance, character and hope.

Persevering through the storms of life is going to test and ultimately be a proof of your Faith.

When all seems hopeless and you have no where else to turn, do you turn to Him?

I do more than I used to, however not as much as I should, it doesn't come like second nature yet, however I know in time it will.

I want to get to the point that when a storm starts, I can just look up and say "It is yours, I don't want it".

Back when this storm started, I would sit, sometimes all day and question each and every aspect of myself.

Was I not kind enough? Pretty enough? Skinny enough? Talk to much or not enough? Laugh to loud or not loud enough? My eyes are blue, maybe he wouldn't have cheated if they were green or maybe I should have had brown hair instead of blond...Was I to tall? Was I to close to my family or not close enough etc...

All day my friends, I tore myself apart, like a quilt, each stitch had to be pulled out of the seam.

Never in my life have I torn myself so far down to explain away why this happened...

Promises replayed in my head, marriage vows screamed at me, early days together played like a mind movie on repeat...

Our wedding, all the places we lived, the birth of both boys, family members who have come and gone, friends lost and new ones found...

And I always came to the same conclusion - What was so bad in our lives that he had to throw it all away?

The storm has been raging for 20 months now, some days it is calmer than other days and today I am haunted by the fact that I still have love for him, that under the right circumstances, I would actually take him back, regardless of what has transpired over the past 20 months.

So I look at my reflection and ask myself, "What is wrong with you?"

I think back to all the conversations I have had with family and friends and my Pastor, I recall most of the conversations as words of wisdom, to help me heal, to help me to continue to walk forward, yet that little piece of me would throw the door open, most likely in a heartbeat, if he just asked.

However, that doesn't seem to be His will for my life anymore.

And yes, I will admit it, I am having a hard time accepting that.

20 months later and I still don't want a divorce.

I am more open to it then I was in the beginning, however it seems so sinful to me.

I once told my husband, I didn't know how to not love him...

He has been in my life since I was 17 years old, my best friend & the only man I ever trusted completely...

He put me in a game, I didn't sign up to play and I failed, in my opinion...

5 days from now is our 21st wedding anniversary and he will still be with her...

Some of you, know how I feel and I am so sorry, those that do not, I pray you never, ever know how infidelity feels.

Yes, there are good things that have come out of it, things I would never change, however it is also one of the darkest times in my life that I wouldn't wish on my own worst enemy.

Today, the storm has overtaken me, sadness is the coat I wear today, maybe tomorrow sorrow will leave me and joy will come back.

Maybe the storm will continue to rage on...

As long as I continue to look up, He will either carry me through it or subside the storm...

Which ever He chooses, I wish it would happen soon.

CASTING CROWNS
I Was Sure By Now, God,
That You Would Have Reached Down
And Wiped Our Tears Away
Stepped In And Saved The Day
But Once Again, I Say Amen
And It's Still Raining

Intercessory Prayer

"But Jesus Often Withdrew To Lonely Places And Prayed."

Luke 5:16



Do you pray in silence or do you pray out loud?

Do you kneel or sit or stand or walk around as you do other things?

Do you clasp your hands, stretch your palms towards heaven or do you just fold your hands together?

Do you give thanks first or dive right into what you need or desire?

Do you pray in the morning or afternoon or evening?

Once a day?

Several times a day?

Prayer, what does it mean to you?

To me it is very personal, a time to shut off the world and spend time with my Father.

I am still learning how to shut my mind off so I can focus on what I am saying, as well as what I am hearing and I will admit some days it is quite the challenge.

No matter how busy I am, not a day goes by that I don't pray at least once a day, sometimes it is short, sometimes long and sometimes just a sentence - "Have Mercy on me"...

I pray for people who ask and people who don't, I pray for direction as well as motivation and focus, I pray for His light to be beneath my feet, I pray I am on the right path, I pray He lies beside me as I sleep, I pray He helps me with my obvious lack of patience, I pray for the courage to face another day, the strength to handle anything that may come my way, and the wisdom to know I can't do this alone.

Because of how far He has brought me this past year, I pray with more Thanksgiving than ever before.

Prayer should be heartfelt and never forced, a conversation between you and your Maker, a place where peace will be felt, calm will be given and love is always present.

It doesn't have to be filled with a bunch of fancy words, let the words come from your heart, He already knows what is there anyway so no need to make it any harder.

Last night was my 4th week of Bible Study, my 4th week of being asked to pray out loud and it was on the tip of my tongue to say no once again for the 4th time, however I knew that until I could get that first one out, I would continue to be afraid.

So I said "I will try".

I was asked to pray for the sick and shut-in...

The 4th prayer out of 7 or 8 prayers...

Side note - 4th time is the charm, it seems.

My Pastor wasn't there last night, Bible study was lead by my female Minister and I knew she wouldn't let me get away with saying no, not after the look I received (in love and compassion) last week when I turned it down once again.

When it was my turn, I took a deep breath and said the shortest prayer I possibly could...

Not really on purpose however I didn't call out names of people in the hospital or in prison or the homeless etc...

I just asked for a blessing on all of them in general.

As I said "Amen" and looked up, I noticed my Minister had come to stand in front of me, grinning from ear to ear.

After class, she gave me a hug and told me that when she was standing in front of me, she was taping my prayer so she could give it to the Pastor to show him I had finally done it.

I admit I was nervous, worried about what others in the room would think of my prayer...

I shouldn't have been though, all I should have been worried about was Him and because I know He is right there, guiding me in my prayer, I should have no worries.

I want my conversations with Him to be from my heart, because I know what I am going to prayer for or who I am going to pray for or what I am thankful for, those prayers are easy for me.

Intercessory prayer isn't hard for me either, in fact I normally pray more for others than for myself.

Intercessory prayer out loud is different...

It feels forced, I don't feel like I can take my time because I feel like some of the other people are just ready to go home.

However, the more I walk, the more I learn and I have come to learn that He wants all Christians to be intercessors.

Praying on behalf others, without seeing what it benefits you, however to bring Glory to Him, is what intercessory prayer is all about.

It doesn't matter if you do it out loud or silently...

What matters is that you do it.

SANCTUS REAL
Well I Need You
You Need Me
Cuz That's The Way
Its Meant To Be